As the helicopter hired by Princess Cruises circled the ship
to record the event, we held up the sign we had made in geriatrics craft class
(which said hi to our children) so that the camera could get some pictures of
us doing exactly that. After awhile, it
was just me holding the sign hi above my head trying to attract the helicopter
in a way that only I can do. After
another while, and when my arms got tired, I gave the idea away. If they didn’t capture a photo of the short,
fat duck in the bright orange shirt waiving a very colourful sign above her
head in the first couple of hours…..then I would take it out of their hide.
We saw very little in the way of birds and wildlife along
the waters edge apart from the odd pelican or seagull. We did see a crocodile in the water when in a
larger section of the canal coming up to one of the locks. I figured that the least it could do was launch
itself out of the water and take down a bird or one of the old people just to
make the day more interesting. This
being said, the area expert on board told us that a person off one of the ships
DID get taken by a croc once upon a time when jumping in the water to retrieve
a ladies camera which had accidently fallen in.
Quite frankly if my camera fell in I would be jumping also, as that is
one of the things that has me hanging onto my last shred of sanity. I would be willing to take the gamble at this
point in time.
Whilst it was the Panama Canal
that we had all come to see, and whilst we thought it was pretty darned
amazing, after the first few hours, it was as boring as bat shit. It was a long, slow journey where the oldies
wanted to wave at every single person they spotted on the shore and waived like
complete retards (ok….so I was in on that with the helicopter….but I wanted the
photo!) and seriously, once you saw the first set of locks, the rest was more
of the same. Mind you, we were travelling
through the ORIGINAL canal on its 100th Anniversary so that was
pretty special…..but that didn’t make it any more interesting.
Some pretty weird conversations were had by the Bear and
me. He pointed out that the absolutely
atrocious musician/comedian/pathetic person was out on the balcony a couple of
decks down from us and along a little bit.
I had sort of tuned out for a little bit and heard him say “and that’s
something you don’t want to see in the morning”. Attempting to catch up on the conversation by
adding a comment to indicate I had been “listening” I said “a hard on?” Mortified the Bear exclaimed “No! The woman!”
He was gesturing toward the same balcony that the musician was on, and
the tattooed thing that was with him.
Whoops!
I also tried to add a bit of Spanish to my limited
vocabulary given that most of the central and southern parts of America
I stayed out on the balcony longer given that I didn’t want
to miss a thing just in case something interesting DID happen (or so that I
wouldn’t miss the helicopter should it come back), I sat with my travel diary
and my pen. The notes I made were as
follows. Make of them what you will:
- Is that the ships horn? No that’s the old bloke next door farting.
- I wonder if they have denture throwing on this ship instead of quoits?
- On this ship, the Maitre De also has the job description of Funeral Director/Mortician. On this boat they sure would need it.
- I really need to come up with a better nickname for Grumpy Cat (one of our regular waiters)
- My eye-lids and upper arms (my fadoobooters) now hold their shape when pinched. F**k my life.
- How do they get the seed out of an olive and then restuff it without tearing the hole?
- I think the man in the next stateroom is dying. Seriously.
- If you came from Ingham, would you admit it?
- Seriously, what IS that prong in the shower?
- Are we there yet?
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