I haven’t posted in a couple of days because we have been that darned busy! I will just do a quickie blog so that you know I haven't died.
Two days ago we flew several hundred miles over two different flights in order to get to New Orleans. Leaving Albuquerque we managed to get ourselves an extra period of time at security and had a number of toiletries confiscated. Long story. Having been held up at security (where I might add that no-one took the offer up to frisk me....but they did score a nude photo at one of those x-ray thingies) we had to step up the pace to make our flight which was boarding. I take approximately 10 leaps to one of the Bears single steps so felt like I had run a marathon by the time we got to the plane. The Claytons plane. The plane you have when you’re not having a plane.
Do you know those cars you see at the circus? The one that looks like a Mini Minor but seems to fit 153 clowns in it? Well that was this plane. In lieu of the safety demonstration that the flight attendants show at the beginning of each flight, they taught origami so that you could fold yourself into a shadow in order to fit in the seat. There appeared to be three flight attendants - the first one I am sure witnessed the birth of Jesus himself. The second just looked like an angry pancake. The third was very similar to the flight attendant from “Meet the Fockers” and was the most personable of the three. The first flight was from Albuquerque to Atlanta – 3 painful hours. The Bear and I were proud of ourselves on being able to strike a pose and hold it for the entire flight. We couldn’t breathe in or out or move just in case we spilled out into the aisle...we just had our tongues poking out so that the flight attendant could throw some water on them when she shuffled passed.
The entire time we were in flight, a Latino lass behind me kept kicking the absolute shit out of my chair and sounded remarkably like a hyena. Not that I could blame her.....her partner sounded like Donald Duck. There was no television or music in flight either.... so listening to the hyena and Mr Duck was a little bit of light entertainment. The fellow sitting across from them looked as though he had stuck his head out of the plane for a while. If I could have unravelled my arms (they had been folded into an origami giraffe) I would have applauded whoever manufactured the product that was in his hair. I do have a sneaking suspicion that it is by the same company that makes Viagra.
Once we landed in Atlanta I was able to remove my right foot from my left ear and my left foot from the roof and re-establish the blood flow to my legs. We went up into the terminal so that we could figure out where we had to pick up our connecting flight. Given that this airport was larger than the state of Queensland this was no easy feat. Even the Bear said he had never seen such a large airport. It is one of the main hubs in the United States and was ridiculously busy. As it turned out we had to board our connect flight in terminal 19. We had landed at terminal 13. We couldn’t even see terminal 19 let alone get to it. Lucky for us there were trains that ran underground between the terminals so we boarded that. Heading into terminal 19 we were able to get something to eat and drink and wait for that next flight.
Fortunately the next flight was not full so the Bear moved across one seat so that we had room to breathe. Finally at 9pm we arrived in New Orleans. We had flown over places that I had only heard about in songs.....Amarillo, Birmingham, Alabama and more. We caught a taxi in order to get into our motel – this being our first taxi experience since arriving in the U.S. The trip into the city was a blur, but given that our faces froze having experienced 10 “g’s” as the cab cruised (?????) along the highway, we could be forgiven for thinking that we were in fact on the set of “The Fast and the Furious”. Once at the hotel, the Bear went in search of a baggage trolley whilst I stayed out in the street with the luggage. I sincerely feel that I was privileged to have experienced the "real" side of New Orleans in my first 5 minutes there....even if it did mean that I pulled a toenail backwards in an attempt to make sure that one piece of luggage wasn't stolen by a passing vagrant. It should have occurred to me that he wouldn't have stolen the suitcase as his stench (which would have outlasted religion) would have penetrated everything and it would have had him easily identified to the police. There cant be too many people that smell like year old tuna.
This leads me to right now. We have spent two wonderful days in New Orleans and will be driving to Memphis tomorrow. We have seen Bourbon Street, listened to Jazz, watched street performers, been to the French Quarter more than once, and have spent the afternoon on a paddle steamer. We have jammed more into the last couple of days than we could have thought possible. New Orleans, like every other city we have been to, has a personality of its own. This is seriously a unique town that is exactly like I pictured it would be - right down to the last African/American. It is great.
Tomorrow I will make sure that I do a proper blog from Memphis!
