2024 - Trip 11 to USA (and a brief stop in Canada) Day 6. 4th October - Manhattan - 911 Museum, Staten Island Ferry and Lebanese Hotdogs.

Today we went into Manhattan to visit the 911 Museum.  We had been to the memorial on a previous trip but the museum hadn't been quite ready to open at that time. Due to lack of parking we needed to take the Staten Island Ferry across to Manhattan and then the Underground to the 911 Memorial.

The Staten Island Ferry is a free (yes...….FREE) public transport, that can transfer a few thousand people at a time from Staten Island to Manhattan and back on a massive ferry. As a bonus, it passes within a stones throw of The Statue of Liberty so you get to see her up close and personal at no cost.  The trips are quick, and run on schedule, running all day every day.   Stepping outside to take some photos and video was a little brisk, very windy, but exciting.  The Big Apple lay ahead of us...…a concrete jungle that is home to millions. The home of Broadway; home to stars; home to TV shows; and home to one of the most catastrophic acts of terror in our lifetime. 

Once off the ferry we went down into the underground to catch a subway to the 911 Museum.  I am a little scared of the underground because in movies you see people putting poisonous gas on subways leading to mass deaths, so I was convinced I was going to die today.  I went with the flow though.  The experience was better than I expected.  The subway was relatively clean and the people on it were relatively normal.  One bloke was giving me a bit of "side eye" so I regretted wearing my extra 3 noses today.

The memorial pools are at ground zero where the North and South Towers stood and now are in the shadow of the new World Trade Centre, and the Museum is basically beside and underneath them, with some of the structures remaining in the same place as they stood before that dreadful day, such as "the survivor stairs".  There is a large wall covered in blue tiles, behind which remains the debris from 911 where scientists continue to work tirelessly sifting through to try and identify any speck of DNA to bring closure to families who still don't have answers.  The number of tiles on the wall are the exact same number of the dead and missing from that day, and are all a different, unique shade of blue as a reflection of the colour of the sky that morning and acknowledging that those that lost their lives were also unique separate individuals. .  I won't go through and describe everything in the museum because I could not possibly do it justice or capture the emotion that is felt.  Having watched the events unfold on TV on 11 September 2001, it was overwhelming to stand in the exact spot of such evil, such courage, such bravery, such despair, and such death.   When standing at the memorial pools at the sites of the North and South Towers there is a small feeling of serenity.  They are waterfalls now so I guess that brings a feeling a peace.  The names of those killed are etched into the edge of each waterfall however despite the volume of names, the area has been done in such a tasteful way, it truly is a lovely way to remember those who lost their lives. A white rose is left at the name of a person on their birthday which is a nice touch.  In the museum however, you are faced with cold, hard facts and realism.  You get a small taste of the horror that those who died and those who survived  experienced and know for a fact that you will never be the same again. 

    

After our visit to the Museum we head back to the Underground to get a subway back to the Staten Island Ferry terminal with the hope of getting some lunch.  We bought our tickets and pushed our way through the turnstiles New York style and went onto our platform to wait for our subway.  All of a sudden the Bear went into a flap and all shades of red and white. My guess was a heart attack but it turned out to be much worse - he lost his mobile phone. He guessed he had left it back at the museum so asked  me to wait on the platform while he ran back.  To say I was terrified was an understatement so I donned my best "don't f**king come near me" face and waited for the Bear to return.  When he had not returned after 15 minutes, I became worried that he had in fact had a heart attack and figured it was time to start worrying about the important things - like where the hotel key and credit cards were.......and how to get an upgrade to a  first class plane ticket home.   Another 15 minutes passed and I didn't know whether to give up my post and gather a search party or continue to hog the bench which I had taken possession of. It was a hot day and I had no idea how far it was to Police Headquarters, so staying on the bench won.  I decided I needed something to reduce my worry about how long was an acceptable time before reporting someone missing in the Big Apple so I started playing a bit of a game with other patrons.  I have absolutely no idea how people could not read the massive "I am a touring Australian so have absolutely no clue" sign flashing in large neon lights on my forehead, but every second person came up to me to ask me questions about the subway.  I got bored with answering "I don't have a clue" so started suggesting people go to other platforms, and ended up speaking the little bit of German I remember from my school days. I would be asked what subway departed from the platform I was sitting on and I would answer "die sonne scheint" (the sun is shining) or "wie geht es dir" (how are you?).  This is a common, successful and rather childish tactic of mine.  Meanwhile another half an hour passed and I was literally near to having a stroke myself, when the Bear returned - still in a major flap.  His phone was nowhere to be found. The staff at the museum had been most helpful but unfortunately the phone had disappeared into thin air.   The Bear was stressed to the eyeballs as his life (like with everyone else) is in his phone but he could do no more other than to leave my phone number with the museum in case it was handed in...…..and...….take a drink of water.   Take a drink of water?  Yes.....take a drink of water.  He went to grab a bottle of water out of the backpack we had with us as he was sweating like a nun in a strip club, and what do you know - there was his phone. I have nothing else to say other than please don't tell him I was planning on how to spend his life insurance. 

Once again we found ourselves on a relatively clean subway and soon were back at the Staten Island Ferry terminal.  There were a number of food vendors around and the Bear felt like a Lebanese hotdog.  I didn't even know Lebanese liked hotdogs! I must say it didn't resemble one.  It looked like a cream bun with green and pink icing with coconut sprinkled on top.  As he ate this, I chased a squirrel up and down a bit of bush trying to get a decent photo.   The Yanks think we are a little crazy.  Whilst they might be correct for other reasons, I don't think a fascination with squirrels warrants that despite them being rodents. I just want perfect photos of the little bastards but they are so damned quick!

Heading to board a ferry we found a group of busking dancers in the area just in front of the terminal. They were beefed up African American men and they were damned good!  They were also looking for audience participation!  The extrovert in me basically screamed to pick me, whilst the overweight, bad kneed me screamed "go to hell" so I bravely did as I always do - stood behind the Bear.  Gee they were good though.  I honestly would have paid to go and see them again.

Back on the ferry, passed the Statue of Liberty again, back to Staten Island, fought the thousands getting off the ferry, crawled to the hire car, and finally we drove back to the hotel.  It was an absolutely an exhausting day which was emotional on so many levels.  Tomorrow we head for Philadelphia where we have never been before......so something new to write about!

2024 - Trip 11 to USA (and a brief stop in Canada) Day 5. 3rd October - Bridges, Brooklyn.....and a horse?!!

 Today we took a trip out to Coney Island - a filming location from one of the Bears favourite movies, "Big". In the film, Tom Hanks character makes a wish using a Zoltar machine which comes true.  We sought it out much to the Bears delight.  I was tempted to use the machine and make a wish that I was slim and "outta sight!" however knowing my luck I would be turned into a feminine hygiene product, so I gave it a miss. The theme park at Coney Island had yet to open (just like the rest of damned America) however there was a hotdog vendor that had opened.  The Bear got a hotdog and I got some fries and we sat in the car watching seagulls and strange people while we snacked.  Given that there was not much else  to do, we chose to move on. 

From there it was a trip into Brooklyn.  Not only can you see the magnificent Manhattan skyline from there, you can also see several of the amazing bridges that carry commuters from several of the New York boroughs into/from Manhattan.  In particular we could get some amazing shots of the Brooklyn Bridge and the Manhattan Bridge.   During previous trips to New York, we have not ventured to these, much to my disappointment.  As a fan of "Law & Order" I have seen the bridges at the beginning of every episode and longed for the day that I have seen it for real, so today was a bucket list item being ticked. 

First of all though, we went down to DUMBO (Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass) at a particularly picturesque spot.  There were photo opportunities galore - if you ignored the road works going on. There was even a wedding party having their wedding photos being taken there.  Cobble stone streets and old brick buildings made the perfect surrounds to photograph the Manhattan Bridge.  The stench from the manholes was putrid but that just seemed to add to the experience. 

Walking down to the water line, we could finally see the Brooklyn Bridge as well as many views seen in films and TV shows.  This includes a merry-go-round on the water front. I feel very confident though that I mean it when I say that I could not be paid enough to get in that water because it looked like a soup of garbage and faecal matter. However I would be lying if I said that I wasn't overwhelmed to be standing in one of the most amazing spots in the entire world.  I also found myself trying to picture what it would have looked like from that vantage point on 11 September 2001 - and it chilled me to the bone. 

Heading back to the hotel, we made a stop at Walmart for dinner supplies again and as per usual we had a look around.  As mentioned countless times before, I absolutely LOVE Walmart. I was in the "Health and Beauty" section looking for hairspray when I heard a sound like a person hitting to coconut shell halves together - reminding me of a scene out of Monty Pythons "The Holy Grail". I turned towards the noise and came face to face with.......a horse. A horse. Of course.  What else could I have expected?   I have seen countless dogs in Walmart, and my fair share of human animals in Walmart, but never a horse.  And not just any horse, but a "support" horse - like a support dog. I literally couldn't get my phone onto record fast enough! I was not the only person gobsmacked at seeing a support horse in Walmart so had to fight my way through the crowd to get a little bit on video.  More than that though, I was interested to see whether its owner was carrying doggy (horsey?) poop bags!  I still don't know if its owner were carrying any. I pretty much feel as though I can say I have seen everything now though.  A support horse in a supermarket/department store.  I would not be surprised if I now saw a support camel or a support giraffe.

Tomorrow we will catch a Statten Island ferry across to Manhattan and visit the 911 museum!

2024 - Trip 11 to USA (and a brief stop in Canada) Day 4. 2nd October - New Jersey!

Finally, for the first time in a few days, we will see daylight for the whole day,  We have decided just to have a bit of a look around New Jersey as jetlag on previous trips have robbed me of pretty special experiences.  For example, I went to sleep in the front row of the "Motown Show" on Broadway in New York.  I also went to sleep during my first ice hockey match at Honda Stadium in Anaheim.  I can sort of understand going to sleep on Broadway given that it was dark, with soothing music and comfy chairs.   At Anaheim though.....it was brightly lit with noise that could wake the dead!  Seriously, it was a major brawl where an ice hockey game broke out! When the home team scored, they sounded a ships foghorn, yet I apparently blissfully was visiting The Blanket Show (A term my Dad used when I was a child). I still wonder if Alyx was pulling my leg when saying I fell asleep.......hmmmmm.

New Jersey - a city with a difference which is ironic given that it was different to what I expected even though I didn't know what I was expecting. New Jersey to Manhattan Island I would consider to be the equivalent to Ipswich versus Brisbane's CBD perhaps? I found it to be a city/state with less shame than most. I say this because of their advertising.  Here is an example:

Good to know.  I mean, I have one, and I don't even put that much thought into it. I can't even say the word let alone plaster it on advertising.  For a city to have enough passion to advertise their thoughts, kudos to them. 

I also found strikes of genius in New Jersey.  It's possible Australia have these already in the southern states, and if they do.....well done!  If they don't, then perhaps the metropolitan cities should consider them. Amazing usage of space for an age old problem - parking. 

How clever is that?! It's a bit like playing "Connect 4" but with cars! (I am going to feel really stupid if I find out that Australia already has something similar) And there wasn't just one of these - they were pretty much on every corner in the business districts.  Brilliant!

We decided to leave Coney Island for another day as jetlag was still hovering so decided to find a place for an early lunch before heading back to our hotel. The USA doesn't come alive until later in the day, unlike Australia, so we had a job finding a place that was open.  Even the shopping malls with places like Macys do not open until close to lunch time unless you are in Vegas or Manhattan so driving around New Jersey we kept striking places that were closed.  We decided to head in the direction of our hotel and go to another Walmart if necessary however luckily we came across a shopping mall that had just opened which had the chain restaurant, "The Rainforest Café" in it (which also had just opened).  We have never eaten at that restaurant so thought now was as good a time as any! 

We followed the waitress through the empty restaurant to our table.  The restaurant was themed with thick rainforest and jungle. There were life sized animals such as gorillas, lions and elephants, oversized butterflies and things like waterfalls. It was actually really well done although wondered if the life sized animals would scare children.  The menu was your standard American menu.  Everything is always the same.  Its just the name of the restaurant that changes.  There are always buffalo wings, nachos, burgers, pizza etc. I can't eat most of the stuff so will order something soft, cheap, or something that the Bear can help me with.  On this occasion I ordered a flatbread to nibble on, and the Bear ordered his standard burger and fries.  Just as a side note, you never order "chips" because if you do, that's exactly what you will get - potato chips out of a packet. 

Our meal arrives and at the same time, some bongos start playing.  I was a little startled as it seemed to signal the arrival of our meal. I figured this was an interesting concept, because if the restaurant was busy the bongos would always be going off which would render the place very noisy.  I was grateful that the place was empty. About 10 seconds later there was movement to my left where a life gorilla sat in a garden next to our table and it started to roar. I immediately crapped myself and let out a squeal (ok....it might have been a scream) however this turned into wonderment as the whole restaurant came to life! I wondered again how this wouldn't scare the daylights out of kids yet found the theme and concept quite cool!  Mind you, by the end of lunch I was a bit over it as it interrupted the flow of conversation each time it went off (the Bear and I still talk when we are eating.  We don't sit in silence) and we probably won't eat there again however I am glad we had the experience anyway!

After lunch it was back to the hotel for a Nana nap and nothing more interesting to report for the day.  Hopefully there will be some more interesting stuff to report tomorrow! We are looking at heading into Coney Island and Brooklyn!

2024 - Trip 11 to USA (and a brief stop in Canada) Day 3. 1st October - LA to New York!

 After a sleepless night, we had to leave our hotel to head back to LAX and jump on a flight to New York.  After having flown back in time and virtually had a 26 hour night, the trip to New York would take us further in time (although further away from our time at home) due to the time zones across the country.   Our flight was at approximately 8am however we wouldn't arrive in New York until late afternoon - nearly bedtime again!  As previously mentioned, my body has not coped very well with jetlag when flying to New York and it was fairly obvious this was going to be the case again. 

This time we decided to fly to New York via Alaska Airlines (no doubt a financial decision) and will be flying first class which is a poor cousin to a Jetstar economy flight. We don't fly economy on domestic flights throughout the USA given that all economy seats have you automatically in the crash position. You could fit properly if you are an anorexic on your deathbed, however if you have indulged in an extra "Twinkie" once every six months, you are required to adopt the "Lotus" position and then bend like a bifold door before taking place in your seat. 

We took our place in the "First Class" line at the check-in desk and were called up to the counter by a bottle blonde bimbo who had the personality of a dead ant.  This was not helped by the fact that her face was was literally drowning in extraordinarily bad make-up and botoxed lips. She completed our "transaction" whilst picking at her dramatically long fingernails, although to be fair, she spent less time doing this than staring at the ceiling.  If this was First Class service, I dread to think of how economy passengers were treated.  The Bear put the first suitcase up on the weighing machine, and the Barbie wanna-be tutted, rolled her eyes, and advised us that the suitcase was 4 pound overweight.  Being First Class, the Bear thought they would let this slide (although he also challenged the correctness of their scales given we had just flew from Australia with that suitcase being well under the weight limit)  however Barbie stated that we would need to pay an extra $100 dollars.   The Bear advised  her politely, "F**k that" and I geared up to be prepared to add a few layers of clothing because adding an extra 4 pounds onto me wouldn't cost a thing.  Had I have been going into an economy seat, I would have been royally screwed but given our foresight to purchase first class tickets, I would still fit in despite being dressed like the Michelin Man. This turned out to be un-necessary given that taking only one item out of the suitcase brought the suitcase down the required 4 pounds. All other suitcases fell within the required weight limits, and we we were free to head off to security and leave Barbie to go back to picking her nails. 

As is with all TSA security spots, all stuff needs to be x-rayed, belts have to come off, shoes have to come off, and with the Bears knee replacement the alarm goes off.  10 minutes later after the Bear had his separate secondary screening to prove his knee replacement, replaced his shoes and belt, and I had replaced my shoes and chastised the TSA for not being frisked by an Eddie Vedder look-a-like, we head up to the Alaska Airlines lounge where we hoped to score a coffee that didn't taste like paint stripper and perhaps a bite to eat.  We were lucky in finding two things.  Firstly, there was a lovely Alaska Airlines employee  behind the entry desk, and, there was a barista who made the only drinkable coffee that I have had in my 11 trips to this country.  Whilst I couldn't eat any of the food they had on offer I still surveyed what was available and grabbed a bit of cheese and a glass of orange juice because it makes me feel normal.  As I looked at both the cheese and OJ on the table in front of me, it occurred to me that the cheese in the USA was more orange than actual orange juice!  in fact, I am now fairly certain that twatwaffle Trump smashes his face into a bucket of cheese to maintain his year around bad, fake tan look. 

Boarding the plane, we found that there was no entertainment on  board. Given that the flight is approximately 5 hours, I was a little ticked off at that.  There was a way of downloading an app and watching stuff on your phone however I am as blind as a bat (and technologically challenged) so that simply wasn't going to happen for me. I also needed to make sure that my phone didn't run out of charge given that it is the phone that carries the international SIM.  The flight was relatively long and boring and I was officially over air travel.  I was very glad to touch down in New York (actually New Jersey) and even more glad that we had already cleared customs and the TSA the day before.  That meant there was very little chance that I would fight anyone today, or would be un-necessarily held up by having our luggage searched. * Phew *  One thing I did find, is that I have a new slogan for Alaskan Airlines. "You can't complain about the service - because you don't get any!"

Once our bags were retrieved we head off to collect our hire vehicle which was a lovely, large SUV.  Last year when we came over, the Bear insisted on a Mustang convertible coupe which, whilst it might have had us looking pretty damned cool, also had us sitting in the crash position.  Travelling with 6 suitcases, most of which had to sit on the back seat, subsequently whacking me in the back of the head, meant that the seats had to be positioned all the way forward.  Trying to get in and out of a sports car with a screwed knee also had me making sounds that I am sure mimicked those heard in a 70s porn film - or so I've heard 😏😏- so the SUV made for a nice change.  

 

On the way to our hotel for the next few days, we made our first of many stops to a Walmart (WOOOOOOT!!!!!) to get some essentials and some dinner.  I've said it before and I will say it again - Walmart is my favourite place in the entire world!  We were relatively quick on this visit though as we just wanted to get to our destination which was a part of the Homewood Suites chain, and watch the Walz/Vance debate.  It was night time again before we knew it and I was suffering my usual bad jet lag as I do when flying to the East Coast of the USA.  Despite having spent the last 36 - 48 hours mostly as a night time, I ended up falling asleep anyway and missed out on watching the debate.  Not that I minded as I wanted to be able to hit the ground running tomorrow, and, because Vance is a dork. 

Tomorrow we are going to have an easy day and not head into Manhattan for a few days until the jetlag has passed.  As long as we do something that we have never done before, I will be happy!  

2024 - Trip 11 to USA (and a brief stop in Canada) Day 2. 30th September Take 2 !

A few hours into the flight, we crossed the International Dateline and officially took a step back in time.  Unfortunately, it didn't take us back 40 years  (which would have suited me just fine) so had to settle for having a go at re-doing the day before.  I can guarantee that September 30 Take 2, was nothing like Take 1 as it was spent in cramped darkness.  I was tempted to break the "rule" and open the window shades just for a peek, but given that the Flight Attendant did not hesitate to use the "F" word freely, I felt that he would be just as comfortable giving me a public dressing down should I go against his instruction.  It became obvious at one point, that this was a good decision as my assumption was close to correct.  The Bear was on the receiving end of the naughty stick when he had apparently repeatedly leant over the back of my chair (he was seated behind me) and unknowingly pressed against the "call" button (which advises Flight Attendants that a passenger requires assistance). Our loud, cursing, severely obese Flight Attendant, was not backwards in coming forwards when advising the Bear of his repeated error.  He did so in a joking manner although it was clear that he was truly annoyed and was sick of getting off his lazy ass.

I prided myself on limiting my fluid intake during the flight.  I was as dry as a camels bum but the mere thought of needing to use the loo gave me physical pain without leaving my seat.  I accidentally took a few sips of water with the meal service (which I couldn't eat due to my condition) which my post-menopausal bladder eventually wanted to purge. This forced me to begrudgingly drag my feet to the Smurf-sized loo, like a child who had been sent to the headmaster to receive the cane.  That trip ended with me developing a new, retarded calisthenics/yoga routine which had me return to my seat with more bruises and less teeth.  Half an hour later I was experiencing some hearing difficulty, which I put down to being in flight, however discovered that this was because my right boob was still stuck in my ear. 

Unable to sleep due to hunger, thirst and fear of getting changed before the end of the flight, I decided to watch "Purple Rain" - the 80's film made by Prince, given that I an a huge fan, and will be visiting his home, " Paisley Park" when in Minneapolis.  Unfortunately I know the album off by heart and while sitting in the dark plane with a headset on, kept forgetting where I was and embarrassingly burst into song.  Lucky for me, my fellow passengers had become used to the strangled cat noises coming from my throat during my loo visits, so they didn't bat an eyelid.

At around 5pm LA time, the passengers were served breakfast, or in my case, coffee (which tasted like pig swill) which indicated we were nearing our destination.  Finally at approximately 6.30pm on same date as we had left Australia, we landed in Los Angeles. I need not go into the traumatic description of when I changed back into my good clothes whilst still on board as you really don't need further mental images of my aging body contorted at unnatural angles.  Given that our stop over before going on to New York was 14 hours, we had decided to get a motel room near the airport for a shower and a few hours sleep.  We passed through customs with less than the usual pain and angst, and for once had a Border Security Officer that served us with a smile.  Our suitcases came out to the carousel also surprisingly quickly and  I decided that things were looking up. We made our way out into the warm evening looking for where we could jump onboard a hotel shuttle. As I lifted my head to make sure I wasn't about to hit the Bear with my luggage trolley, I ran smack into a wall of cigarette smoke.  Ahhh......that's right, I had forgotten.  The yanks can still smoke in places that we cannot, and this is pretty much everywhere.  I gave up smoking nearly 20 years ago and I absolutely loathe the smell of cigarette smoke now.  And, I absolutely loathe being forced to passively smoke.  Trying to escape the clouds of it was impossible.  The best we could do was hurry to the shuttle pick up point while holding our breath. The Bear noticed our shuttle pull in and hurriedly ran to it, but as he took our luggage off the trolleys to load onto the bus, the driver slammed the door shut and took off.  Cursing loudly using language worse than that of our Flight Attendant, we stood, sweating and passively smoking for another 10 minutes before the next shuttle came along. 

A short drive later we pulled up at our hotel, and welcomed the air-conditioning and the promise of using a bathroom without breaking a hip.  We have stayed at this hotel before and are quite fond of it.  On this occasion however, we were not getting off to a good start.  Firstly, we did not receive an offer of assistance getting our luggage up to our room. Normally, this would be a given as the valets rely on getting tipped.  This time, the Bear struggled with the luggage on an aging trolley through the hotel and up to our room.  I held the door as he lumped each suitcase in (and we don't travel lightly) watching as his shirt was dripping with sweat.  Once this was done, he went and turned the air conditioner on.   The next moment had us sitting on the airport runway, or so we thought. As the air-conditioner came to life it let out an almighty roar.  It was obvious that with the banging and clanging, we would not be able to sleep so the Bear rang down to the desk to advise them.  We were offered the opportunity for a technician to "come up and have a look at it", which was politely declined and a request for a room change was made. This meant that the Bear had to go back down to the desk; had to retrieve a luggage trolley; reload it; and get it to our new room.  Fortunately our new room had an air-conditioner that worked with less than a roar, not that I think we had it in us to move again.

Given that we had only just been provided with breakfast on the place, despite it being evening, there was no requirement to find some dinner.  I was happy to have water, and the Bear chose to finish off a packet of Smarties that he had been eating on the plane. By this time however, despite the comfortable bed, we were clock watching as we needed to head back to the airport at 4.30am to catch the flight to New York.   This meant no sleep.

Given all of the above, 30th September Take 2 totally sucked!!!!  Being given the opportunity to redo a whole day wasn't any great shakes!

2024 - Trip 11 to USA (and a brief stop in Canada) Day 1. 30th September - take 1 !

Finally it's D-Day. Our latest trip to the land of the star spangled banner has arrived.  My fretting for my dogs is already full on, which is not helped by their accusing glares when they spotted  me putting clothes into suitcases.  Once upon a time I would have been completely packed weeks ago however these days I am still throwing clothes in a suitcase when the Bear is pulling the car out. My NJ (feeding) tube has been removed for the trip due to it being impossible to travel with and I am just thrilled to have the sticky gauze off of my face. 

We realise the next few days are going to be quite hideous.  Since the Brisbane to LA flight has moved from morning, to very late at night, we have found that jetlag is worse than previously. Yes, it might sound appealing leaving at night as one might assume it will be easier to sleep through the flight.  While this is true, it also means that when you arrive in LA, it is night time again and therefore you are landing not far from bedtime. We will be flying on to New York however the stop over is approximately 14 hours so have decided to get a room at a hotel not far from LAX.  Once we get through customs and border security, and find the airport shuttle which will take us to the hotel, we will be lucky to get only a few hours of shut-eye given that our flight to New York will be early the following morning. 

We leave home with plenty of time to spare to allow for traffic and roadworks however we need not have worried as it was a fairly easy trip down.  We actually arrived at the International Airport before the flight opened to check in although didn't have too long to wait.  And so began, the first of many times we would be asked, where we are going, how long are we going for, where will we be staying, and what was the purpose of our travel? We cleared security and customs fairly quickly however was slowed down a bit by a feral traveller who had zero problems with line jumping.  It just happened that he decided to line-jump in front of us. This is where I would usually lose my s**t and challenge a line-jumper however given that I was just happy to be there, I let it slide.  Mind you, as he repeatedly stuffed around...over and over again.....I started to get a little hot under the collar.   I managed to keep myself in check however which was a huge pat on the back for me. 

We head up to the Qantas Business Class Lounge which was extremely underwhelming and barely recognisable to 10 or more years ago when we first started some pretty heavy duty travelling. The Qantas Club back then was amazing.  However, as it is now, it still has to be better than spending several hours sitting at the gate or at a noisy café.  This being said, we did have an American lady, sitting behind us, making countless phone calls to friends and family, speaking at top note in what sounded like an exaggerated southern drawl.  I figured we may as well get used to it, because that is what we would be hearing for the next 5 weeks. 

When we knew our flight would be boarding soon, we started the epic journey to the gate furthest away from where we were.   I have no idea why, but the LA flight always departs from the last gate.  I have no idea why as it is not exactly a hive of activity after 10pm.  We started our trek down to gate 86 with me wanting to set up base camp half way down the concourse. My short legs take 6 steps to each 1 step that the Bear takes, so have an insane time trying to keep up.   When we got to the gate, there was the usual pandemonium with people jostling for a place in line as though they were concerned that the plane would leave with out them. 

Finally, at what was waaaay past our usually bedtime, we finally made our way down to the plane.   We were greeted by a flight attendant, with a brilliant smile and a massive girth, forcing me to wonder for the millionth time as to why I was rejected for a position by Ansett Airlines in 1984 for being approximately 7 centimetres too short. All airlines back then had strict protocols. You had to look a certain way (tick); you had to weigh under a certain weight (tick); and you had to be at least 169 cm tall (fail). This bloke was huge however as we would find out, would give exceptional customer service, except for the fact that he used the "F" word on more than one occasion and was less than discreet about it. 

As per usual, once on board, we grabbed our sleeping clothes and head to the loos to change.  Given my usual issues with toilets on airplanes I had a plan to have a drama-free change, so that I could get back to my seat and get comfy for the flight.  One thing that I had not taken into consideration, was that the onboard toilets, had again shrunk in size.  In 2012 when on my first trip to the USA, the toilets were a reasonable size and were elegantly decorated with fresh flowers.  I have seen them shrink over the years and cannot remember the last time I saw fresh flowers however this time I found them too small to even turn around in.  Apparently they reduce the size of the toilets and galleys, so that more seats can be placed on the aircraft. As I tried to unsuccessfully survey my surroundings to set a plan in place, I briefly wondered why they don't put a window in aircraft toilets to at least give the impression of more room?   I mean, seriously, who is going to be looking in at 30,000 feet?  I managed to turn around by doing a ten-point turn whilst being thankful that I had administered my Clexane injection when still at home.  It would have been impossible doing it in this loo.  I longed for the days when my flexibility was an asset because that is what was going to be required to get changed without injury. I sat on the seat of the loo, and managed to work my legs up so that they rested on the door, in order to change into bike pants. Unfortunately that had my elbow knocking the flush button repeatedly so said a silent prayer hoping that no-one was standing outside wondering what the hell I was doing.  My grunts and groans would have given someone a VERY inaccurate account of what was going on in there as it was.  Fortunately for me, it wouldn't take long for the next person to find out what I was doing.   As I adjusted my feet on the door to try to slide my pants on, my right foot accidentally slid the lock across, therefore unlocking the door.  I know from experience that this then shows that the loo is vacant and approximately 10 seconds later an attempt was made by another passenger on the outside, to enter the toilet (which is done by pushing a folding door inwards) which promptly forced my right knee smack into my face.  Given my positioning, the gentleman copped a first class view of what was exposed due to my unladylike pose before retreating, red faced, down the aisle.

When I eventually extracted myself from the poor excuse of a toilet, I stumbled haphazardly back down the aisle wondering what injuries I may have received and already dreading getting back into my good clothes just prior to arriving in LA.  I made myself a promise not too drink too much during the flight therefore limiting my need to use the bathroom.  I also noticed that the Bear had not returned from getting changed himself and wondered how the hell he would go as it would be like putting a giraffe in a matchbox.  I didn't have long to wait until I saw him coming towards me, bathed in sweat and walking with a limp that he hadn't had when we boarded the plane.  He seemed to have also developed a stutter and nervous tic. I asked if he was ok and he managed to stammer his own experience of getting changed in the toilet/closet. On top of this, he looked extremely concerned - which I found out wasn't due to his newly broken arm and leg, but due to the fact that he was now missing a testicle. 

Somewhere between midnight and 1am we were served dinner, and were advised not to open the window shades until our arrival in Los Angeles at approximately 6.30pm on the same day which we left.   This is apparently so that your body gets used to the time difference however I have not got the faintest idea how that works given the night arrival in LA.  We apparently land approximately an hour and a half after being served breakfast so I am at a loss how this is meant to help the body adjust to the new time zones.  In fact, it will be bed time just after we land.  Given that my feeding tube is out, I spent the night hungry as there was nothing on the menu that I could even attempt to get down.  However I knew this would happen and will try to purchase some protein shakes in the USA and will slowly sip them through the day to keep myself alive.     

The Bear seemed to have recovered from his trauma in the onboard lavatories although apparently still hasn't found his missing testicle.   Fortunately we still have another 13 hours onboard for him to find it, as we head towards the International Date Line and live 30th September all over again!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

2024 - Trip #11 to USA and a brief stay in Canada! T minus 3 sleeps!

So here we are once again, about to embark on a holiday to the country where I have ongoing arguments with automatic toilets.  A country where the political climate is currently having it looking like one major nut-house. A country where Twatwaffle Trump and his disciples have the Woogaroo Lunatic Asylum looking like a Teddy Bears Picnic. A country where it's insanity can only be possibly be outdone by one single thing - my love for Walmart!!! Of course we are talking about the United States of America!

I have made myself a promise to post on this blog every single day, just as I did on my first visit to the USA in 2012. No exceptions! Challenge accepted!  

This trip will be a little bit different to previous ones as we will be starting in New York and working our way back to LA.  We have actually gone directly to New York once before which proved interesting to say the least.  I suffered jet lag more than I do when flying to LA which led to some fairly questionable moments. For example - we had decided to see a show on Broadway (you know.....when in Rome) early in our visit.   We purchased front row seats to The Motown Show which was based on the life and music of Berry Gordy who was the founder of the Motown record label. I seriously LOVE that genre and was very excited to be going to the show which was being played on the very famous "Broadway".  By the way, yes, the neon lights ARE bright on Broadway (thank you George Benson).  Anyway, the Bear and I took our seats in the very front row where we were close enough to be passed off as cast members.  The lights dimmed and the elegant curtains parted and so began The Motown Show on Broadway.... in the Big Apple.  A concrete jungle where dreams are made of (thank you Alicia Keys) and a bucket list destination for endless numbers of people.   The Bear claims that once the show started, we were receiving funny looks from some of the cast members although didn't know why.  That was until a delicate noise came from my direction. A snore. I wasn't sitting there watching The Motown Show.  I was visiting The Blanket Show (thank you Dad) ..... in other words, I was fast asleep! What's more, I slept through the entire performance!  If the cast members were offended by my trip to slumberland, they needed not to worry.  It wasn't personal. Sleeping in public at main events after suffering from jetlag became notorious.  A few trips later, when taking my daughter, Alyx, to The Honda Stadium in Anaheim to see her beloved Anaheim Ducks (ice hockey) play against a Canadian team, I again drifted off into the land of nod...which was amazing given that 1: The arena was brightly lit unlike the dark in the Broadway theatre, and 2:  The noise at an ice hockey game seriously could wake the dead. 

Anyway, that's enough pre-trip waffle.  Please look forward to my trials and tribulations of USA Trip 11!