After a sleepless night, we had to leave our hotel to head back to LAX and jump on a flight to New York. After having flown back in time and virtually had a 26 hour night, the trip to New York would take us further in time (although further away from our time at home) due to the time zones across the country. Our flight was at approximately 8am however we wouldn't arrive in New York until late afternoon - nearly bedtime again! As previously mentioned, my body has not coped very well with jetlag when flying to New York and it was fairly obvious this was going to be the case again.
This time we decided to fly to New York via Alaska Airlines (no doubt a financial decision) and will be flying first class which is a poor cousin to a Jetstar economy flight. We don't fly economy on domestic flights throughout the USA given that all economy seats have you automatically in the crash position. You could fit properly if you are an anorexic on your deathbed, however if you have indulged in an extra "Twinkie" once every six months, you are required to adopt the "Lotus" position and then bend like a bifold door before taking place in your seat.
We took our place in the "First Class" line at the check-in desk and were called up to the counter by a bottle blonde bimbo who had the personality of a dead ant. This was not helped by the fact that her face was was literally drowning in extraordinarily bad make-up and botoxed lips. She completed our "transaction" whilst picking at her dramatically long fingernails, although to be fair, she spent less time doing this than staring at the ceiling. If this was First Class service, I dread to think of how economy passengers were treated. The Bear put the first suitcase up on the weighing machine, and the Barbie wanna-be tutted, rolled her eyes, and advised us that the suitcase was 4 pound overweight. Being First Class, the Bear thought they would let this slide (although he also challenged the correctness of their scales given we had just flew from Australia with that suitcase being well under the weight limit) however Barbie stated that we would need to pay an extra $100 dollars. The Bear advised her politely, "F**k that" and I geared up to be prepared to add a few layers of clothing because adding an extra 4 pounds onto me wouldn't cost a thing. Had I have been going into an economy seat, I would have been royally screwed but given our foresight to purchase first class tickets, I would still fit in despite being dressed like the Michelin Man. This turned out to be un-necessary given that taking only one item out of the suitcase brought the suitcase down the required 4 pounds. All other suitcases fell within the required weight limits, and we we were free to head off to security and leave Barbie to go back to picking her nails.
As is with all TSA security spots, all stuff needs to be x-rayed, belts have to come off, shoes have to come off, and with the Bears knee replacement the alarm goes off. 10 minutes later after the Bear had his separate secondary screening to prove his knee replacement, replaced his shoes and belt, and I had replaced my shoes and chastised the TSA for not being frisked by an Eddie Vedder look-a-like, we head up to the Alaska Airlines lounge where we hoped to score a coffee that didn't taste like paint stripper and perhaps a bite to eat. We were lucky in finding two things. Firstly, there was a lovely Alaska Airlines employee behind the entry desk, and, there was a barista who made the only drinkable coffee that I have had in my 11 trips to this country. Whilst I couldn't eat any of the food they had on offer I still surveyed what was available and grabbed a bit of cheese and a glass of orange juice because it makes me feel normal. As I looked at both the cheese and OJ on the table in front of me, it occurred to me that the cheese in the USA was more orange than actual orange juice! in fact, I am now fairly certain that twatwaffle Trump smashes his face into a bucket of cheese to maintain his year around bad, fake tan look.
Boarding the plane, we found that there was no entertainment on board. Given that the flight is approximately 5 hours, I was a little ticked off at that. There was a way of downloading an app and watching stuff on your phone however I am as blind as a bat (and technologically challenged) so that simply wasn't going to happen for me. I also needed to make sure that my phone didn't run out of charge given that it is the phone that carries the international SIM. The flight was relatively long and boring and I was officially over air travel. I was very glad to touch down in New York (actually New Jersey) and even more glad that we had already cleared customs and the TSA the day before. That meant there was very little chance that I would fight anyone today, or would be un-necessarily held up by having our luggage searched. * Phew * One thing I did find, is that I have a new slogan for Alaskan Airlines. "You can't complain about the service - because you don't get any!"
Once our bags were retrieved we head off to collect our hire vehicle which was a lovely, large SUV. Last year when we came over, the Bear insisted on a Mustang convertible coupe which, whilst it might have had us looking pretty damned cool, also had us sitting in the crash position. Travelling with 6 suitcases, most of which had to sit on the back seat, subsequently whacking me in the back of the head, meant that the seats had to be positioned all the way forward. Trying to get in and out of a sports car with a screwed knee also had me making sounds that I am sure mimicked those heard in a 70s porn film - or so I've heard 😏😏- so the SUV made for a nice change.
On the way to our hotel for the next few days, we made our first of many stops to a Walmart (WOOOOOOT!!!!!) to get some essentials and some dinner. I've said it before and I will say it again - Walmart is my favourite place in the entire world! We were relatively quick on this visit though as we just wanted to get to our destination which was a part of the Homewood Suites chain, and watch the Walz/Vance debate. It was night time again before we knew it and I was suffering my usual bad jet lag as I do when flying to the East Coast of the USA. Despite having spent the last 36 - 48 hours mostly as a night time, I ended up falling asleep anyway and missed out on watching the debate. Not that I minded as I wanted to be able to hit the ground running tomorrow, and, because Vance is a dork.
Tomorrow we are going to have an easy day and not head into Manhattan for a few days until the jetlag has passed. As long as we do something that we have never done before, I will be happy!
