2014 - Day 18 - Third USA Trip - Geriatric Craft Anyone?

First things first…. this morning the Bear saw a bird float by sitting on a piece of wood.  I have nicknamed it, and every other bird in the world “Rose”.  If you never saw the movie “Titanic” (and I sure as shit wish I never had) then never mind.  You won’t get it.

Today we are trying a new tactic.  If you can’t beat the oldies…..join them.    For 4 hours each day, tables are set up in the middle of the ship along with paint, crayons, felt pens and cardboard so that the passengers can write a message to their loved ones to hang over the side of the ship when passing through the Panama Canal.  Of course, our loved ones won’t see the messages unless the passenger forks out a million dollars to buy the photo taken of it…..but hey…..that’s what all cruises are about - trying to drag more of the dollars out of your wallet on top of the offensive amount that you have already spent to be there.

Anyway, these tables are set up with all of the oldies in line with their paint brushes and are drawing pictures to their hearts content.  It reminds me of the kids craft sessions at Bunnings on Saturday and Sunday mornings.    I was sort of hoping there was a tray with googly eyes and big noses on them, just so that we could do a picture of one of our passengers…..but alas, there was not.  

The Bear and I took our places beside the oldies and began to paint our signs.  Our levels of intelligence dropped by the second as we painted our signs “S.O.S” and “Help”.    Ok….so we didn’t do that, but we wanted to!  I need to tell you though that the effort it took to draw out the letters and then paint between the lines on a rocking ship was harder than it looked.  For those of you that know me, you know that I am fairly challenged when it comes to colouring in or cutting along a straight line.  Add the rocking ship into the mix, as well as the engaging company either side of us *rolls eyes* and you have a story that movies are made of.   I wish this movie involved lots of pirates now though.

So we made a sign with our kids names on it (and yes, I wanted to make a second with our animals names on it), and the word AUSTRALIA on the bottom.  The Bear carefully painted that word in green and gold whilst I started on the letters at the top of the page.   The amount of dickheads that came up, stared and asked “are you from Australia” will have me shaking my head until black turns into white.   The urge to say “no toss-wank, we are from Argentina and just spelled it wrong” was almost too much.   Or even “Oh…really……does that say Australia?  We meant Zimbabwe”. 

For those that actually assume that the word Australia, DOES in fact match our accents, I am also left scratching my head with the conversations that ensue.

Them:  “Where about’s in Australia are you from?”

Us:       “A few hours from Brisbane”.

Them:  “Where is that?”

Us:       “Queensland”

Them:  “Where is that?”

Us:       “Northern State on the Eastern Coast”.

Them:  *blank look*

Us:       “Where the Great Barrier Reef is”.

Them:  “Is that near Mellborrrrrrrrne?”

Me:       “Yes….yes it is”

 

The Bear keeps saying that he will not stoop to their level of ignorance or bad manners.   I have made it my duty to make it up for the both of us!  Mind you he did tell someone yesterday that we were getting electricity there soon.  The recipient of the light hearted sarcasm took him seriously!

 

Tonight’s entertainment was a ventriloquist with his dummy called “Noseworthy”.  “Noseworthy” is an old man with a very big nose.  I found myself wondering if this was an excellent attempt at mimicking our ships passengers but would suggest that this was simply a coincidence.  I doubt that the oldies would have noticed however the dummy might have had half a clue.   Very good show.  Had I have had a hand in it (hahaha…..get it.  Hand in the puppet?) I would have had more fun with it but I still certainly appreciated the cleverness and skill in the act.