2024 - Trip 11 to USA (and a brief stop in Canada) Day 2. 30th September Take 2 !

A few hours into the flight, we crossed the International Dateline and officially took a step back in time.  Unfortunately, it didn't take us back 40 years  (which would have suited me just fine) so had to settle for having a go at re-doing the day before.  I can guarantee that September 30 Take 2, was nothing like Take 1 as it was spent in cramped darkness.  I was tempted to break the "rule" and open the window shades just for a peek, but given that the Flight Attendant did not hesitate to use the "F" word freely, I felt that he would be just as comfortable giving me a public dressing down should I go against his instruction.  It became obvious at one point, that this was a good decision as my assumption was close to correct.  The Bear was on the receiving end of the naughty stick when he had apparently repeatedly leant over the back of my chair (he was seated behind me) and unknowingly pressed against the "call" button (which advises Flight Attendants that a passenger requires assistance). Our loud, cursing, severely obese Flight Attendant, was not backwards in coming forwards when advising the Bear of his repeated error.  He did so in a joking manner although it was clear that he was truly annoyed and was sick of getting off his lazy ass.

I prided myself on limiting my fluid intake during the flight.  I was as dry as a camels bum but the mere thought of needing to use the loo gave me physical pain without leaving my seat.  I accidentally took a few sips of water with the meal service (which I couldn't eat due to my condition) which my post-menopausal bladder eventually wanted to purge. This forced me to begrudgingly drag my feet to the Smurf-sized loo, like a child who had been sent to the headmaster to receive the cane.  That trip ended with me developing a new, retarded calisthenics/yoga routine which had me return to my seat with more bruises and less teeth.  Half an hour later I was experiencing some hearing difficulty, which I put down to being in flight, however discovered that this was because my right boob was still stuck in my ear. 

Unable to sleep due to hunger, thirst and fear of getting changed before the end of the flight, I decided to watch "Purple Rain" - the 80's film made by Prince, given that I an a huge fan, and will be visiting his home, " Paisley Park" when in Minneapolis.  Unfortunately I know the album off by heart and while sitting in the dark plane with a headset on, kept forgetting where I was and embarrassingly burst into song.  Lucky for me, my fellow passengers had become used to the strangled cat noises coming from my throat during my loo visits, so they didn't bat an eyelid.

At around 5pm LA time, the passengers were served breakfast, or in my case, coffee (which tasted like pig swill) which indicated we were nearing our destination.  Finally at approximately 6.30pm on same date as we had left Australia, we landed in Los Angeles. I need not go into the traumatic description of when I changed back into my good clothes whilst still on board as you really don't need further mental images of my aging body contorted at unnatural angles.  Given that our stop over before going on to New York was 14 hours, we had decided to get a motel room near the airport for a shower and a few hours sleep.  We passed through customs with less than the usual pain and angst, and for once had a Border Security Officer that served us with a smile.  Our suitcases came out to the carousel also surprisingly quickly and  I decided that things were looking up. We made our way out into the warm evening looking for where we could jump onboard a hotel shuttle. As I lifted my head to make sure I wasn't about to hit the Bear with my luggage trolley, I ran smack into a wall of cigarette smoke.  Ahhh......that's right, I had forgotten.  The yanks can still smoke in places that we cannot, and this is pretty much everywhere.  I gave up smoking nearly 20 years ago and I absolutely loathe the smell of cigarette smoke now.  And, I absolutely loathe being forced to passively smoke.  Trying to escape the clouds of it was impossible.  The best we could do was hurry to the shuttle pick up point while holding our breath. The Bear noticed our shuttle pull in and hurriedly ran to it, but as he took our luggage off the trolleys to load onto the bus, the driver slammed the door shut and took off.  Cursing loudly using language worse than that of our Flight Attendant, we stood, sweating and passively smoking for another 10 minutes before the next shuttle came along. 

A short drive later we pulled up at our hotel, and welcomed the air-conditioning and the promise of using a bathroom without breaking a hip.  We have stayed at this hotel before and are quite fond of it.  On this occasion however, we were not getting off to a good start.  Firstly, we did not receive an offer of assistance getting our luggage up to our room. Normally, this would be a given as the valets rely on getting tipped.  This time, the Bear struggled with the luggage on an aging trolley through the hotel and up to our room.  I held the door as he lumped each suitcase in (and we don't travel lightly) watching as his shirt was dripping with sweat.  Once this was done, he went and turned the air conditioner on.   The next moment had us sitting on the airport runway, or so we thought. As the air-conditioner came to life it let out an almighty roar.  It was obvious that with the banging and clanging, we would not be able to sleep so the Bear rang down to the desk to advise them.  We were offered the opportunity for a technician to "come up and have a look at it", which was politely declined and a request for a room change was made. This meant that the Bear had to go back down to the desk; had to retrieve a luggage trolley; reload it; and get it to our new room.  Fortunately our new room had an air-conditioner that worked with less than a roar, not that I think we had it in us to move again.

Given that we had only just been provided with breakfast on the place, despite it being evening, there was no requirement to find some dinner.  I was happy to have water, and the Bear chose to finish off a packet of Smarties that he had been eating on the plane. By this time however, despite the comfortable bed, we were clock watching as we needed to head back to the airport at 4.30am to catch the flight to New York.   This meant no sleep.

Given all of the above, 30th September Take 2 totally sucked!!!!  Being given the opportunity to redo a whole day wasn't any great shakes!