2014 - Third USA Trip - T minus 1 sleep and bloody hell Nic!

So it's time to say bye to my fur babies who are staying at home with Brian’ s Mum during this trip.  I miss them before I even leave home. L  I am cheered up by the knowledge that we are setting off for Brisbane where we will spend the night before our flight tomorrow morning.  This means one of two things:  we get to see Alyx tonight, and, we have Nic’s company in the car on the way down.  I think it would be safe to say that its been a good 4 years since Nic got into a car with us.  Nic’s habit of asking a run of extraordinary odd yet well thought out questions provides us with a never ending source of entertainment. I could hardly wait for the questions to start.

Do you know how you can say something, or make a wish,  or even ask a question.....and later find that you can not take back those words no matter how you try?  Once words have been spoken and visual images created, there really is no way that you can erase them from your mind.  Yes well….I had one of those moments. 

Sure the questions started easy enough.  I won’t give all examples of them here as they would become the star of my blog, and I don’t want that.  Instead I will just give you an idea of his mind set:

Nic:  does water taste different in America?

Me:  Hmmm….well I only drink bottled water and that is the same as Australia. I would expect that it would taste pretty much the same though.

Nic:  Don’t you drink water in the shower?

Me:  No Nic, I do not.

 

Nic:  Do they have Red Rooster in America?

 

Me:  Not to my knowledge.

 

Nic:  F**k.

 

*Pause*

 

Nic:  Does Coke taste the same in America because if it doesn't, I'm outta there?!

 

Me:  Yes it tastes the same.

 

 

Etc., etc., etc.  But after countless questions before we had even got to the bottom of the range:

Nic:  So how many fines have you got in your life?

Me:  Traffic fines?  (he says yes) Two.  One a few weeks before I married your father when I was booked for going through a red light, where as  I swear it was amber; and once with a radar gun along Hume Street  when we lived at Parsley Drive.  Why?

Nic:  Oh no reason….*mumble mumble mumble*

Me:  What did you do??

Nic:  Nothing.

Me:  Nic…what did you do?

Nic:  Nothing that you don’t already know about.

Me:  NIC!  WHAT DID YOU DO???!!!

Nic:  Oh you already know!  I told you…I was caught…….

Me:  Doing what??

Nic:  Taking a piss in Hogs Breath car park.  I told you about this.

Me:  F**king what???? You so did NOT tell me this!!

And the conversation continued.  To cut along story short, we had not even got down the range when we find out that 6 or 7 months ago, Nic was caught and charged with public urination.  It was a $44 fine which he paid the next day. My God!  His excuse….was that the only available toilets at that time were disgusting. Yep that is a seriously good reason to whip your wang out in a public place and take a leak.  The stupid thing was that Nic initially lied and told the cop that he did not do that.  The police mans reply was that he was seen directly taking the leak on the City Safe cameras. Whoops!  Sprung Nicco!  Good grief.

Nic proceeded to chat the whole way to Brisbane asking many a random question or giving us an insight to thoughts his mind tosses around.   Once we got to Brisbane we went and checked in to our hotel where we would be staying for the evening, and to pass a little time whilst waiting for Alyx to finish work.   Nic, who has very rarely stayed in accommodation such as this, immediately got to work and wanted to touch and investigate every single inch of the room.   He went through every drawer and cupboard.  He cracked us up with his exclamation (and pardon the language)…”there is a phone in the shitter?!?!?!” before moving on to the little cupboard next to the   fridge.

I was looking at Facebook on my mobile phone when Nic spoke with an extremely bad yet questioning French/Swahili accent….”Don Paris Nguyong?” I looked up to find Nic standing in front of me and pretending to be some sort of seedy waiter presenting me with a bottle of the restaurants finest.   He had found a cheap bottle of plonk in the mini-bar.  I reminded him that the wine/champers that he was trying to pass this off as, to be “Dom Perignon”  and should he ever really come across a bottle of “ Dom”  he is NOT TO TOUCH!   It’s too bloody expensive for him to drop…..because drop it he would!

We went to pick up Alyx from work and had dinner with her and Zoe at ironically, the Hogs Breath Café. After this we dropped them both at home, along with Nic who would be staying with them for the night.  I apologised in advance for his behaviour and shenanigans and made arrangements for the airport drop off in the morning. We went back to our hotel with all the very best intentions of getting a good night sleep.  I however was kept awake wondering how on earth I was going to be able to let my son roam America by himself and not stress about it.  Needless to say I was unable to come up with any reasonable thought processes …*sigh*  

Look out USA!  Tomorrow we are headed your way! And I apologise in advance for Nicco!

PS:  I miss my dogs already :-(