2014 Trip - Day 2 - New York, New York!

If we had have brought a shipping container load of warm, dry clothes across from home, we would have been met with a heat wave in the middle of winter.  Instead we have chosen to pack lightly (with the intent of buying up big once we hit the west coast) and have managed to go through a few sets of clothes and shoes within the first 24 hours.   We have landed ourselves in the middle of a snow storm (the news here seems to be over using the word “vortex”. Perhaps I am jealous that I simply cannot insert that into a sentence myself) and it is cold.  F**king cold.

 The Bear and I did have the means to remain warm and dry….and by that I mean that we had the option of remaining indoors.  But nooooooo…..this pair of jet lagged Australians who have just arrived in the US of A after coming from a country in the grips of a heatwave felt that we should hit the ground running and make the most of The Big Apple.  The view of a blissfully white Central Park from our hotel room was too beautiful to resist.  It was fairly apparent that we would not be able to make the short walk there unscathed however our true Australian arrogance “knew” better.

As we left the warm foyer of our hotel it was apparent that many locals were caught unaware by the snow storm.  Cars almost buried in snow drifts lined the streets.  In some places, they appeared to be double parked.  In others it was apparent that cars had slid into one another and were abandoned by their owners.  Men on every side walk worked feverishly trying to shovel snow to not only clear the paths for patrons, but to also free the drains to allow rain and melting snow to escape.  The side walks were hazardous not only due to the snow, but because rain was freezing on top of the snow making them ridiculously slippery. Snow turned intersections into extreme hazards as patrons tried crossing roads away from the snow drifts that were deep and had collected on every corner.  If any vehicle had have tried to break to avoid a person they would not have had a hope in hell of stopping. Of course, if a car lost control and slid without the ability to get traction, patrons would not stand a chance.

 

 

 

                                                       

 

Stepping off a corner to cross the road, even at the lights, came with its own issues.  As I said before, the snow drifts were deep so it was hard to see what you were stepping off into. However the snow prevented rain from draining away and we were unable to tell how deep the water was either.  We felt that the most appropriate store to have in New York today would be one that sold snorkels and flippers because to get across the road we had to wade it waist deep water. Ok…so that is an exaggeration. We both ended up wet, and very, very cold with icy cold water saturating our shoes, socks and jeans.  This was the type of cold that went through to the bone and hurt. Snow, sleet and rain also wet our clothes (although the Bear in his wisdom had taken a semi water-resistant jacket) which complimented the icy blasts of wind.

Add to this the nutcase taxi drivers and truck drivers (yes….truck drivers on Manhattan Island) which still flew through the streets at an alarming rate, spraying up the sludge onto pedestrians; and the occasional person who was quite happy to take out another’s eye with their umbrella; the large sheets of ice that was falling from every building; potential frostbite or drowning at an intersection, it is a wonder that we made it back alive!

 

 

                       

Nothing quite screams “TOURIST!!”  like an ice covered Bear and a saturated Oompa Loompa staggering saturated into head long into arctic blasts.

 We weren’t sure where we were headed but thought if we walked in the direction of Central Park, we would at least be doing something. The weather reports state that people should stay indoors and don’t drive if you can avoid it….yet we were slipping and sliding on the snow and ice like an extremely drunk Torville and Dean.  I cannot possibly find the words to describe how cold we are.  We managed to get as far as the Time Warner Shopping Centre on Columbus Circle however all of the shops were closed.  There was no way we could cross the road to get to Central Park as the snow and ice were completely across the road sending the motorists into a spin with accidents galore.  He decided to go into Time Warner any way so that we could have a reprieve from the wind and thaw out a little.

My eyes settled on a very tall black man.  A very, VERY tall black man.  A very, very tall NAKED black man.  WTF??   It was a statue of some sort in the middle of the shopping centre although I have not got the faintest idea.  He did not bare a name and there was nothing to advertise his significance. As I got closer I saw that he was very anatomically correct.  Given that he was about 20 foot high, I was able to stare straight at his doodle.  It has taken me a few minutes to think of what I could call it.  The word “doodle” strikes me as being a word relevant for cute things.  This 20 foot giant had a very cute (ok….small) Johnson.  Mind you….it was extremely cold and I thought to myself that I bet he is thankful that he is a statue because if he wasn’t….his junk might shrink up so far that it would take a very skilled doctor to retrieve it.   As if the very, very tall, naked black man situated in the middle of the shopping centre wasn’t strange enough…..the man’s doodle was painted gold.  I mean….what the hell?!  Anyway, me being me, I could not waste the opportunity to touch the dick of a large black man and pretend my touch turns everything to gold!

 A couple of steps onwards we came across a very, very tall, anatomically correct black woman. By anatomically correct, I mean she had the whole box and dice.  Well…*cough*…a shaved box and dice. And no....I didn't touch that one!

All in all it was a relatively uneventful day which was good because we are suffering from jet lag in a MAJOR way this time.  On previous trips I have not felt it, but this time it has come with a bang.

We are hoping tomorrow is a little more fine so that we can go exploring the things that we failed to do on our first trip to New York as well as go to a theatre on Broadway to see our very first musical!