It is our last full day in Los Angeles. I am absolutely stoked to be going home tomorrow night but I am sad at the same time. This has been the most amazing journey and I have loved every minute of it. I have seen the most amazing things and have visited places that I have only ever dreamed about. I have been so blessed to have been given this opportunity and know that I am so lucky to have done this with the Bear.
We decided to head back to Warner Bros. The tour that we were taken on last time was absolutely amazing and we felt that we enjoyed it so much that we didn’t mind paying to go again. As it turned out, there are no hard and fast routes that the tour guides need to follow as it really depends on what might be filming on any given day and who might be on the lot. Today’s tour was completely different to the one that we did during our first week in L.A. It was obviously on the same lot however we were able to see parts of it that were closed during our first visit and this meant we saw sets from completely different shows. In fact, we even got within a cooee of the sets of “Hart of Dixie” and “The Mentalist” which were filming today, and actually could see the actors on the sets. It is eye opening really. If you have ever watched a street scene on a TV show or movie, how carefully do you watch what is happening? Did you actually know that the cars that pass in the background are the same ones driving around the block and back and forth? And…when you are watching “extras” in the background of a scene, walking up the street, you might be surprised to see that they too walk up and down more than once. We hoped that we could visit the set of “Two and a Half Men” again however Ashton Kutcher was on the lot and in his trailer outside the studio. Instead we were taken onto the set of “Big Bang Theory”. I was again amazed at the size of the sets – they are almost impossibly small and I found myself wondering how the actors didn’t stand on each others toes!
We spent the afternoon trying to find a moto cross store for Nic and visiting a large pet store so that I could buy my babies something to take home. At the back of the pet store we spotted a large “pet motel” which looked amazingly exclusive. Beside the pet motel was a “doggy day care” and upon further investigation I found that the dogs in the day care were currently playing in a large room with a full length window. I think the Bear would have had more success getting me to eat a banana than trying to drag me away before I had a quick look. He was off wandering the store, so I sidled up to the window to take a peek. I was immediately envious of the two young ladies that stood in there watching over the dogs as they played. What an absolutely fabulous job they had. The room was brightly lit, clean and very, very welcoming for the dogs. It could be easily cleaned if one had a little accident. I fell in love with a Chow that was in there. She was absolutely beautiful and her eyes radiated such intelligence. There was a Foxie who looked like a nuisance; a French Bulldog which was a bit of a wuss, a Welsh Corgi, a Poodle cross, a number of other bitsa’s….and….a short haired, shaded red Miniature Dachshund. He lay at the top of a miniature play gym type thing, just where you would slide down the slippery slide. He had his head down EXACTLY like my Schultz would. I wanted to call out to him, and managed to smack my head against the glass window as I tried to get his attention. Ironically that worked. *insert bruised frown here* He came down off the play gym and made his way across the floor to where the other dogs were playing…..staring me straight in the eye and barking as he crossed. My eyes had no choice but to well over and I crouched down to try to get him to come back over to me. An old lady had been watching me and came over to see if I was ok. I explained to her that I had two Miniature Dachshunds and I missed them very much. Unfortunately this apparently gave her an invitation to tell me her life story (she was a Jew that moved from Israel, to the U.K, to Florida, and then to L.A….just in case you wondered) and she hogged what precious little time I had there. The Bear kindly came and saved me thank goodness!
We wondered where to have a meal on the last night in L.A and eventually decided on “The Cheesecake Factory” at Marina Del Rey. It was only 5 minutes drive from where we were staying and we had been told it was an awesome feed. Strangely I thought “The Cheesecake Factory” might actually be a factory that made cheesecakes *rolls eyes* but apparently that was not the case.
As we left our hotel we found ourselves in peak hour traffic, at night, with drizzling rain. We didn’t bother dressing up as the Cheesecake Factory appeared to have a casual dress code which was mighty fine by us. The Bear knew which direction we needed to drive in, however it was slower than it should have been due to the treacherous conditions. We needed to make a left hand turn at a set of lights, and did so as the light turned orange. There was a car on the outside of us (to our right) who also took the corner at the same time as us. Once we made it around the corner….we heard a “bbrrr bllloooop” (ok…so I can’t spell what it sounded like) which both of us recognised as a police siren. Given that the red and blue flashing light was immediately in our rear vision mirror, we felt that we could safely assume that it was meant for us. The person in the right hand lane took off, and the Bear pulled over to the right hand side of the road (remember this is the USA) to park. He had driven going on 5000 kilometres (the equivalent of more than Los Angeles to New York) and here he was being pulled over on our last night in Los Angeles. I clapped excitedly however as I had been hoping daily that we would end up on an episode of cops.
Cop: Licence, registration and insurance Sir.
Bear: I can give you my licence but I have no idea about registration and insurance. This is a rental car.
Cop: *silence*
Bear: Maybe it’s in the glove box?
(We open the glove box and there is a plastic bag in there containing some papers. The Bear hands the plastic bag to the policeman)
Cop: You will have to remove the contents from the bag Sir.
(The Bear removed the contents of the bag and handed them to the policeman)
(I am craning my neck to see what sort of cop he was)
Cop: You took that turn a bit late Sir.
Brian: (Thinking it was due to turning on the orange light) Yeah.
Cop: I’ll be right back. (The cop takes the papers and the drivers licence back to his motorbike and we stay in the car).
**A few minutes pass**
Cop: Sir I am going to be issuing you with an infringement…..
Me: Say what?
Cop: …..for going through a stop signal.
Me: May I please ask a question?
Cop: Sure.
Me: (Ok…so this really isn’t a question) My husband drove around on an orange light and….
Cop: We don’t have orange lights here. We have yellow.
Me: *dumbstruck* Ok…yellow, orange, amber, pink, whatever. He drove around on a yellow light – so are you saying that this is….
Cop: It was red. I was right behind you.
Me: Ok…so if that was the case, wouldn’t you also be wanting to stop the other car that went around in the right hand lane?
Cop: I didn’t see a car in the right hand lane.
Me: So if you didn’t see the very obvious car in the right hand lane…I put it to you, how is it that you actually saw the light was orange? Whoops…excuse me….yellow?
Cop: I can only pick up one person at a time.
Me: So you picked the easy target? Tourists?
Cop: Now how am I meant to know that you are a tourist??? (Ok..so he had a point there)
Me: My question was in relation to the yellow (got it right this time) light. Is that meant to be an offence?
Bear: It was definitely yellow.
Cop: Sir you were well over the marked line.
Me: The light was yellow!!
Cop: Ma’am. He is the violator and I will have my conversation with him. You have nothing to do with this.
Me: *insert picture of a stick of ACME dynamite about to explode*
Me: How can you say I have nothing to do with this? I am in the damned car and this “violator” is my husband!
Cop: Sir can you please ask your wife to remain quiet.
Bear: *blink*
Me: *bang*
Cop: You will need to sign this infringement and pay the bail before the set court date.
Me: Bail??? Whoops…I spoke. My bad.
Bear: I can’t see that to sign it.
Cop: You will need to sign it Sir.
Bear: But I can’t read it to sign it. I will not sign anything I cannot read.
Cop: You have the choice of signing this, or, you will be taken to jail.
Me: Woot! Can we be on an episode of cops! Whoops…pardon me.
Bear: You are joking right?
Cop: No Sir.
Bear: How am I expected to put my name to something I can’t read?
Cop: If you are required to have glasses Sir, I need to confiscate your keys because you clearly shouldn’t be driving.
Bear: I need glasses for READING. Not for driving. I can probably see better than you…..
Me: Bahahahaha!
Bear: ……and I don’t have my reading glasses here!
Me: Honey I would offer to read this to you……but…that’s right…..I have nothing to do with this!
Bear: I did NOT go through a red light!
Cop: I was right behind you Sir. I had to put on my lights so that I didn’t get hit myself.
Me: *puzzled look*
Bear: If you were right behind me, how is it that you saw how far I apparently was over the line when you couldn’t see the car that was immediately beside me! I am in a 4WD which would have blocked the view!
Me: Hey...am I allowed to.....whoops! Sorry! I forgot! *turns to the Bear* Can you please ask the policeman if I am allowed to tape him?
Bear: *Slowly turns his head and looks at me*
Bear: *blank look*
Bear: *blinks*
Bear: *Are you serious look?*
Bear: *turns slowly back to the policeman and sighs* Can my wife tape you?
Cop: Yes as long as she doesn’t point a blinding light at my face.
Me: *Whips out mobile phone and starts taping*
Cop: There is nothing really important on the infringement notice. You wouldn’t be signing to accept guilt.
Bear: That's not the point!
Cop: You could get out of the car and have your wife read it to you?
Me: Ahh but I have nothing to do with this remember!
Bear: And what happens after it's signed?
Cop: You pay the bail and appear in court.
Me: Appear in court? We are going home tomorrow!
Cop: Everything can be dealt with on line.
Bear: I will most certainly be disputing this.
Cop: Online Sir. You will need to pay the bail first though.
Bear: And how much is that?
Cop: You will be able to find out online.
Bear: You want me to sign something I can’t read, pay an amount you can’t advise, and attend a court hearing…..
Me: Despite us telling you we are going home!
Cop: I have already told you….look it up online! You will need to sign the notice!
Me: In Australia, we don’t sign ANYTHING until we know WHAT we are signing!
Bear: *signs infringement*
Cop: *turns on his foot and skulks back to his bike…..and puts a pair of spectacles on!!*
Bear: He damned well can’t see! Who knows if he even had those glasses on before!
Me: Tosser.
Needless to say, we eventually got to The Cheesecake Factory and made the best out of a bad night!
No comments:
Post a Comment