2013 Trip - Day 2 - Rodeo Drive Baby!

I managed to get only a couple of hours sleep last night. My body is on Australian time. Obviously this will take a few days to sort out. In any case we were up and away early to make the most of our time here! We stay in Residence Inns when we are traveling. They are the budget part of the Marriott Chain. Their accommodation is reasonably cheap and usually comfortable and the cost of a continental breakfast is included in the tariff. We went down to breakfast and chose to sit beside the pool in the outdoor area. It was already quite warm so this was a beautiful setting for our first full day in LA, especially as we had come over from our own winter. I decided to give the American coffee another try however after one sip and needing to retrieve my eyeballs from the back of my head, I decided that it still was not for me. I am certain that I will not be drinking that pig swill again.

The breakfast area was quite full of patrons. Being Fathers Day in the USA and given that a lot of schools are on their Summer Vacation, the budget chains are no doubt full of families traveling. That did seem to be the case here as hoards of children filled the dining area, and stuck their fingers into every single orifice, and every plate/bowl of food on the buffet. I decided to stick with cereal (for the record....Granola....it is the absolute best!). Children were running in and out of the dining area and the pool area which we found quite annoying but felt that patience was a virtue. They were noisy which is expected given that they are loud-yanks-in-training. As I had only a few hours sleep and was totally out of whack, I felt the beginnings of a headache lurking and the yelling and squealing of these kids was not helping. I decided that I would try to block out the noise and enjoy the beautiful weather before we got on with our day. As there is music piped out into the pool area where we were eating our breakfast, I tried to focus on it as I would normally do given the exact same circumstances back at home. There was some sort of Mexican music playing with a heavily accented female singing. That type of music is the norm over here given the large Hispanic population and there is evidence of that everywhere that you go. I am not particularly fond of this music - well ok, I hate it more than I do bananas - however given the current circumstances I was prepared to listen to it in order to drown out the rest of the noise.

As I tried to focus on the lyrics being sung....I was fairly certain that I heard the woman singing "three blind mice". I raised an eyebrow and shook my head, thinking that I must be hallucinating due to lack of sleep. But there it was again...."three blind mice". I asked the Bear if he could hear what I could, and yes, he could. And there we sat, completely sleep deprived, with children screaming and yanks being their loud selves, listening to a Mexican or Hispanic woman singing "three blind mice" followed by a very shrill "here we go!" before apparently seeing how they ran. *sigh*

We did not wish to waste any time despite wanting to take things fairly easy on our first full day in L.A so we decided to head into Rodeo Drive. We had not gotten out for a walk along there when we where here last year and it was definitely something on my to do list. I mean I would fit in there like a glove on a hand. I definitely would not look like a fish out of water. Much! I wanted to be frowned on like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I wanted to tell some arrogant shop attendant that she had made a big mistake in not serving me! Good grief...I need to lay off the television!

 

As we approached Rodeo Drive we saw that the streets were blocked off. At first glance it looked like a movie was being filmed there as there was several cars parked incorrectly, and a lear jet just parked casually up the street. I thought this was fairly cool and was immediately devising ways to gate crash a movie set. However this was not the case. It was a display celebrating he 50th birthday of the lear jet so for obvious reasons we wanted to have a look. We could only find paid parking underneath one of the buildings around the corner from the Beverly Wilshire Hotel and found ourselves sharing a lift with a man who was obviously filthy rich and wanted to offer us money to take their President. I said that I didn't want money, and that we would be very happy to take him if he took our Prime Minister. He was happy to make that exchange and had we have had a lawyer present, we might have struck up an immediate deal that would benefit all Australians.

 

Walking along Rodeo Drive it was clear that the people were beautifully eccentric. They were just awesome. Big mouths, big wallets, big boobs....and lots of dogs! All of the dogs were clearly very pampered and spoiled so they were right up my alley. I couldn't however figure out why one German Shepherd wore a pair of flying goggles. His "family" looked relatively normal. We literally stumbled across Jay Leno who looked like he had a potential lawsuit ahead of him given his ridiculously dreadful fake tan. I am not a fan however had a level of admiration given  that he wasn't pushing the whole star status and remained remarkably patient whilst other people wanted their photo taken with him. I considered it...but figured he wasn't famous enough for me to piss him off demanding a photo with him or else he would need to wonder forever more whether his toothbrush met with foul play during the day.

 

From there we drove back to Crenshaw to visit my beloved Walmart. By this time however my headache was bad enough not to be enjoying the bargains that ay in front of us. We did buy a dachshund shaped sausage cutter (I didn't even know that there was such a thing! In my opinion, a knife does an ok job!) for $3. I don't eat sausages, but hey! It was a dachshund! We left Walmart with relatively little, with the promise that we would return when I was feeling up to it.

We decided to stop by a supermarket to buy something for dinner as we really didn't have it in us to eat out. We stopped at "Von" which was the same as the "Pavilion" supermarket that we bought our salads from last year. With that we returned to our hotel to eat and catch up on some much needed sleep. We have a huge day planned for tomorrow!

 

 

 

 

2013 Trip - Day 2 (or Day 1 again!) - Seoul to L.A!

On the way over to the USA we always live a day twice.  We lose that day on the way back.

We flew for another 10 or so hours from Seoul to Los Angeles. Most of this was flying over the Pacific having left Korea, and flying just to the right of Vladivostok. This trip went a little quicker as I managed to get some sleep on this leg. When I wasn't sleeping I was watching documentaries in a variety of languages. It was a bit like trying to read a book but ending up only looking at the pictures. I never knew that Koreans could throw themselves so enthusiastically into scaling anchovies! Even though we were now on board the larger 747 the bathrooms were still the side of a bedside drawer and it's floor seemed to have a constant supply of water on it. Well....we hope it was water. :-S

Once we had reached the American coast, we followed the coastline downwards just south of San Francisco and I was stoked to realise that I had recognised many places from the air. The "marine layer" (the layer of cloud/fog that envelopes LA most mornings) had "burned off" (as they call it) by the time we flew in, so that gave us a clear view of the city. We landed close to an hour late into L.A but hell I was thrilled to be there. For some reason we were unable to pull up to a terminal. Instead we parked out on the tarmac and were attached to a little aerobridge which we walked down in order to get on a bus that was parked on the tarmac. It would drive us to the main terminal where we could continue to clear customs and immigration. I felt a little like I was in the movie "Speed" where Sandra and Keanu tear around the tarmac at 50 MPH in order to prevent a bomb going off. The main differences being that I was squashed into the bus with standing room only, with my nose sticking into an old Korean mans ear (fortunately me and all of the Koreans were at a similar height and therefore I was prevented from having the trauma of my nose being squashed into someone's armpit which would have been ridiculously ripe after such a long flight); there was no Keanu Reeves or Sandra Bullock; and to my knowledge, there was no bomb.

It was a pleasure to learn that the guys at immigration had not found their sense of humour since we last visited and were still gruff and overly serious. We managed to clear both immigration and customs in a reasonable length of time and caught the shuttle to Hertz where we collected our Chevy Equinox (which the Bear LOVES) and were on our way. I find it amazing that I had absolutely no concerns about being on the other side of the road, like I did on our first trip. Last year I was completely at ease with it after the first couple of days however worried that I would have to go through that breaking in period again. Apparently not.

We booked into our hotel in Pasadena and I was overwhelmed at how pretty the suburb is. I have absolutely NO idea where I got the impression that it would be the opposite however it is just beautiful. It is maybe a little like Beverly Hills but more "yuppy". Just as we did last time, we had our first meal of the visit at Denny's Diner. It is cheap, the food is plentiful (albeit smothered in cheese that looks as though it has a bad tan); and the service is usually amazing.

I am majorly confused as to what time it is at home, because we have been travelling forever with very little night time and a few different time zones. I think I am going to suffer jet lag worse this time.

We are glad to be back!!

2013 Trip - Day 1 - Brisbane to Seoul!

We are going back to the USA and I am so damned excited. It is only a short trip of two weeks but that will be just awesome. I have unfinished business there and have been dying to go back. We wont be going as stand by on Qantas because all of the flights filled. We have been lucky enough to secure two of the few remaining seats on Korean Airways which means that we will be going via Seoul, but that's ok. Just another country to visit!

We arrive a Alyx's at 5.30 am. She is going to be dropping us off at the airport. As we are heading to the International Airport I ask her if she can give me a quick lesson in Korean. I realise that she doesn't know a great deal however knows a little due to her Tae Kwon Do.  That is 100% more than I do!  I was hoping she just might know something a long with  "I'm going to kick your head in"  in case I needed it in Seoul.  She rattles off a few words which I try to repeat. The last one I liked the best because it was "thank you". Yes I might need that.  "Cum ash humpty doo daa".  Alyx laughs and says that is nothing like what she said and she repeats the words for me....."Cum ash humpty doo daa".  I repeat them again.   She laughs and said again that it was nothing like it.  I complete ignore her because I now think I can speak Korean - "cum ash humpty doo daa". The truth is that it probably says something like "Your Mum wears army boots" but I am trying.  Very trying.

We get to the airport before the sun is up and we make our way to the Korean Airways counter to check in. A pretty Korean lady by the name of Sunny checks us in. She is a cluey lass - she picks up straight away that the four empty suitcases that we are trying to check in are indeed for the purpose of shopping. Whoops I didn't think I was that obvious. I tell her "Walmart rocks!" and she looks at me as though I have two heads. She provides us with our boarding passes. "Cum ash humpty doo daa Sunny!".

We go through security and I decide that it is too early in the morning to request a frisk search. I am miffed however when I am randomly selected from the line of people to go through the nudey x-ray machine. Everyone goes through them in the USA however it is a random selection in Australia.  I mean what the? I looked around at all of the shady people who are probably carrying bazookas in their trousers and bombs in their turbans and I get picked?  In that case, I figured I might as well request the frisk search. This was denied. Drats.

We find a way to pass the time until we boarded the A330 bound for Seoul. The first thing I noticed is that the interior was not dissimilar to that of St Vincent's Hospital. The colour scheme was a perfect match and the flight attendants attire was of the same colour. The second thing I noticed is that every flight attendant looked identical to the next. I wondered if I would have the need to tell them apart, and decided....no.  As we approached our seats one of the identical octuplets was standing in the aisle next to our seats, smiling and saying "Psa. Psa".  Say what???? "Psa". Ok so she is speaking in her native tongue but I haven't a clue what she is saying. I don't think Alyx mentioned that one.  Was it "Welcome" maybe? "Sit the hell down" perhaps?  I replied with my very best Korean "cum ash humpty doo daa".  This didn't appear to have any effect so I felt the need to bow. She smiled at this. Ok...bowing was the way to go.

The flight to Seoul was long however we managed to fill our time with some of the on board flight movies and shows. There are nowhere near what Qantas has, however they made up this with their food and their customer service.  I certainly appreciated that.  I couldn't understand or hear any of the PA announcements because most of them were in Korean. They were repeated in English but were so soft I simply couldn't make out what they were saying. 

The flight was reasonably comfortable with some turbulence but I am ok with that.  We flew over Papua New Guinea which I could see clearly out the window. It's dense rain forests were an extremely lush green and I tried to picture my Grandad negotiating his way through them as he did in the war.  We flew directly over the southern tip of Japan and I could see villages scattered through out. The sky over Japan was quite amazing. Rather than the deep rich blue that you might see on a clear sunny morning in Far North Queensland, it was another type of beautiful blue. Sort of like a pastel that you might expect to see on a painting. Quite hard to describe.

Seoul is an amazing city to view from the air.  It is very flat with the occasional hill. There are many, many spots of high density housing with the buildings jutting up from the flat land like matchsticks. There appears to be several business areas with tall buildings as well, rather than having them all in a central district. In between these spots of buildings and high density housing, there are lush fields of green crops and farming. They are everywhere and the contrast was incredible.  There are bodies of water which look man made although I am sure they are not.  There is the longest bridge that seems to rise out of the water channel and has the most spectacular suspension in the middle of it.  I wished I was allowed to use my camera on descent to photograph it because it truly was an amazing work of art. I found it hard to believe that I was actually landing in I South Korea and it truly blew my mind. My sister landed here only six months ago during a very cold winter. She had described the snow and cold to me and I was able to imagine what it would have looked like.  Well that was until we disembarked and was met with the most incredible heat.

Bloody hell it was hot! The Bear and I raised a very easy sweat whilst trying to negotiate the hoards of Koreans.  We had to find our way to the monorail which would take us across to where we would connect with our flight to LA.  I was torn between being fascinated by everything being in another language, and being scared because everything was in another language.  I was temporarily stoked given the fact that for once I was clearly not the shortest person in a wave of tall people and could actually see where I was going amid the crowd of people.  But damn it was hot!!  The Bear was absolutely dripping with sweat and I silently begged him not to have a heart attack in a country where I couldn't understand a word.  We found our way to the monorail and subsequently through to the area where we would be departing from in a couple of hours.  I looked around for a newsagent where I could buy Alyx something authentically Korean (given her love of Tai Kwon Do) however there appeared to only be duty free stores where I could buy her a Cartier watch. Hmmmm....no.

We made our way to a couple of seats where we could stop and find something cold to drink and use the toilets.  The Bear had contemplated finding somewhere to have a shower however decided against this.  I for one needed the bathroom, as I had been hesitant to use the ones on board unless it was an emergency. The toilets on board did not have enough room for me to turn around in unless I wanted to practice contortionism and place one leg around my neck. With the Bear sitting comfortably I grabbed my brush and went in search of the loo.

Fortunately the pictures used for toilets are universal and I found the bathroom easily.  I was surprised however to find a gentleman walking beside me. I figured that I must have made a wrong turn and was in fact going into the men's toilets.  Not so.  I quickly learned that the toilets were unisex.  All of the cubicles were being used, or so I thought, and I felt a little disorientated whilst searching for an empty one whilst bumping into variety of Koreans both men and women.  They tended to speak to me, or again so I thought, and when I wasn't mumbling "cum ash humpty doo daa"  I was bowing like a chook that has just been given some pellets.  Fortunately it wasn't too long before a cubicle came available.

I didn't take any notice of much as I rushed to sit down on the loo however the minute my cheeks hit the seat I realised that a few things were amiss.  The first being that my tush was being treated to a gentle roasting.  I wondered if the previous person might have had a hot curry to dispose of but quickly learned that the toilet seat was heated. What the?  It was stinking bloody hot and the Koreans felt the need to still warm their bums?  Just weird.  I can see the benefit in winter but in summer?  The second thing I noticed was that there didn't appear to be a flush button. "That's ok"  I thought - it must be one of the automatic flushing loos that we had in the US last year.  However to my right was a panel of buttons.  I strained to see what they were for however didn't have my glasses with me (stupid me.....why didn't I think of having the need to take my spectacles to the loo??)  and what I could make out was in Korean anyway.  There was a picture of a toilet on this panel so I figured I could safely assume that this was where the flush button was kept, along with the button that warms the toilet seat.  I figured the digital numbers that I could see were the current temperature that my bum cheeks were being baked at.  I wondered if I could reduce this temperature just a little so that I could finally concentrate on my tinkle?  I pressed one of the buttons.

 

Well suck me sideways and slap me with a tuna - the fright I got when a jet of water shot up my freckle was unprecedented.  I am fairly sure my head bounced off the ceiling and my scream might have indicated that I was looking directly into the eyes of the devil.  I leapt off the seat I discovered that I had been sitting on an automatically flushing loo so I need not have worried about which button to press.  Good lord!  How the hell was I going to dry my saturated butt?  I guessed that one of the buttons might have been a blow dryer for the bum however I was not pressing anything else in case there was an automatic tampon inserter.  I would dry myself cum ash humpty doo daa!

 

I staggered out of the cubicle looking as though I had met my maker and bowed to every person I bumped into.  I bolted back to where the Bear was sitting and relayed my experience to him in order to warn him about the potential hazard.  I believe he might have laughed in response. I cant be sure as I was too traumatised and was fairly certain I would require a certain level of counselling upon our return home.

 

We went in search of somewhere where I could buy Alyx a token from Korea.  We managed to find a little bookstore which sold some postcards and fridge magnets.  I found one that was a little tae kwon do man however couldn't for the life of me figure out how much it was.  I struggled to remember what unit of currency the South Koreans used, but couldn't for the life of me remember.  According to what I could see, the magnets were 300,000.  300,000 what?  I figured seeing as I already had lived on the edge today, I could cope with the fact that I was making a purchase where I would later receive the surprise of whether it was $5 or $5000.  I also bought a fridge magnet for our collection and as a memento of our stop over in Seoul.

 

 

 

 

With that, we made our way to the gate in order to board the 747 to Los Angeles.  I bowed at every person who spoke in a foreign language to me, and hoped that I wasn't doing anything offensive. The Bear and I settled into our seats not looking forward to the lengthy next stage of our trip.  I was stoked to be heading there however. Bring on L.A! Cum ash humty doo daa Korea!  Or as it turns out.....kam sa hae yo!

Day 30 - Home James and Dont Spare the Horses!

Our last day in Los Angeles….our last day in the U.S.A. Tonight we make the long journey home. I cannot believe that this holiday is all but over. Our flight back home tonight leaves just shy of midnight however we will need to be at LAX 3 hours prior. This makes for a VERY long day especially given that we have to check out from our hotel at lunchtime.

The Bear has asked if we can have a late checkout and we are allowed to stay until 3pm. Well at least that is something.

We decide that we will go to Paramount Studios this morning to take the tour there. The Warner Brothers Tours have been magnificent and we hoped that Paramount would be just as good. Paramount Studios are the movie studios which were once owned by Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez and during that time Lucille all but lived there. The back lot is filled with her touches including duplicates of her own back yard and of the street behind her home, so that she could fool people into believing she was at home with her children when she was in fact working. She always tried to portray a “perfect mother” image to the media. Photos would show she was at home, when in fact she had her children at work with her.

There is an awful lot of history on this back lot. Favourite TV shows such as “Frasier” and "Cheers" were filmed there; favourite movies such as that of Jerry Lewis were filmed there; epic scenes such as when Moses parted the waters in whatever movie that was, were filmed there. The lot is said to be haunted by the little blonde girl who died shortly after appearing in the movie “Poltergeist” and the back lot also have the evidence of alcohol fuelled actors who romped naked after dark thanks to a dare. And most impressively the studio lies in the shadow of the “Hollywood” sign which watches over it like a proud guardian. The Bear was stoked to sit on the very same bench that Forest Gump did and we were amazed to see where scenes were filmed for The Brady Bunch, Happy Days and so much more.

After we left Paramount Studios we grabbed a spot of lunch and went back to the hotel to repack our suitcases. We were going home with a stack more than we went over with – actually more suitcases than we went over with – and had to make sure that the weights were well within the limits allowed by QANTAS. This was no easy feat however was eventually achieved thanks to the skilful packing of yours truly. They weighed a tonne….but it was a legal tonne.

We got showered and dressed and left the hotel at 3pm. We wondered what we were going to do for a few hours – well actually more than a few hours - until we needed to be at the airport. All of a sudden, we were very small people in a very large city, dressed to the nines, with nowhere to go. We had a shit load of luggage which we couldn’t offload to anyone, anywhere and were completely at a loss. We decided to drive very slowly (and not through any red or YELLOW lights) to see where we might want to have dinner. We took a leisurely drive down to Santa Monica to see if there was anything we felt like. We decided to eat at “Bubba Gumps” which is on the Santa Monica Pier….as we had eaten at one of their restaurants during our first week in L.A and loved it. As we walked up the stairs to the pier we were amazed to see some drizzle starting. We have experienced very little rain during our time in America and it sort of reflected my tears at leaving.

We had a lovely dinner at “Bubba Gumps” and watched the rain come down over the beach and the pier. We watched the mutant sea gulls (they are freaking huge over here) swarm and annoy the occasional lonely beach goer that wandered past.

We finished dinner around 5.30pm. More than 6 hours before our flight. *insert bothered face here* We had several hours before we even needed to check in, and the only thing we really had to do was return the hire car. It was way too early however I suggested that we head to the airport anyway as I was sure there would be something to occupy us there – maybe some stores where we could do some last minute souvenir shopping. The Bear didn’t think this was the case however I couldn’t see how there couldn't be. We filled the hire car up with gas and headed to Hertz for the last time. When we got there it was still raining and it was very dark. As per usual the attendants there were lovely and welcomed us back any time. We hopped on the shuttle bus with our truck load of luggage and made our final journey to the airport. The Bear and I sat up the back of the bus on a bench seat. Our luggage was stored under a shelf in the centre of the bus. I was amusing myself with the fact that every time we turned a corner I would slide to the other end of the seat. On one of these trips around the corner, I watched with amusement as one of our suitcases gently rolled out from under its shelf and sat smack in the middle of the aisle.


The Bear: Is that one of ours?


Me: *raised eyebrow*


The Bear: Hmm. Well that’s no good.


Me: *silence*


The Bear: I had better do something about that.


Three short sentences. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever heard. You don't think so? I guess you had to be there. Whilst the Bear went down to save the suitcase, I completely erupted into the largest fit of giggles that I have ever had. Two ladies that sat next to me, frowned as I snorted and had tears running down my face. This wasn’t helped by the Bear, having already saved the suitcase and placed it back under the shelf, having to poke out a finger every time we turned another corner to stop another suitcase from rolling (as he stood in the middle of the bus leaning on the shelf). It was like one of those cartoons where a person sticks his finger in a wall to prevent a water leak…..and ends up having to put all fingers and all toes into those holes. I had completely lost the plot…but didn’t really care. We were going home. 

We got to LAX with nearly 6 hours to spare *rolls eyes* but fortunately we were able to check in straight away. This meant we could at least off load our bags. We were served by an extremely gay (and I don’t mean happy) British Airways come Qantas staff member who failed to see the humour in Australians. Once we had checked in we had no choice other than to go through security and immigration. And I mean we had no choice. Some Oprah look alike gestured madly to us and almost forced us up an elevator. We found that the staff at immigration and security had even less of a personality that the staff at check in. We had to go through the nudey xray machine again which was always good for a laugh – not. The Bear had sweat teaming off him, and I started to wonder if he in fact had hid a llama in his suitcase. But no….he was just hot. I went through the nudey machine and was told to stop once I had gone through it. I was told to turn around and lift up my arms. Finally I was going to get my frisk search! I had a lady on one side of me and a man on the other. I told them I had begged for a frisk search the whole way across America but they failed to crack a smile. It’s a good thing I didn’t actually start doing the “hokey pokey” which I had almost been tempted to do. The woman gave me a little pat down (not the hard rough slapping which I had been hoping for) and indicated that I had been stopped as it appeared as though I was storing things under my arms. I suppressed the need to both tell her it was probably my un-shaven armpits and burst into a rousing rendition of "The hairs on her dicky di-do hung down to her knees". Google that if you have never heard of it. Apparently the nudey xray had picked up a gold/silver thread that ran through my blouse and it was highlighted on the image.

Once in the departure lounge it became blatantly obvious to me that the Bear was right. There was nothing to do in the airport. I was surprised by its retro look and lack of shops. There was a book store, a newsagency, a food stand, and that was it. We had 6 hours to wait, and that was it. We decided to set up camp in the overwhelmingly hot waiting area. The chairs were uncomfortable, there was no power points to attach the laptop to, and the heat was suppressing. I managed to waste the first 5 minutes by looking in the newsagency and the second 5 minutes by looking in the book store. Approx 5 hours 40 to go. Shit.

During the next hour we sighted other Australians – the first in the time that we had been here. And I have to tell you…it was AWESOME to hear the familiar accent.....but it was also an eye opener. Apparently an International Airport is where you leave your manners and consideration of others at the door. Australians are loud, crass, crude, pushy, and overwhelmingly obnoxious…..and that is just me! Kidding! Some of these Aussies totally outdid me….and THAT is saying something. In fact…if this was the impression that Aussies gave the world, then I would completely understand if the world thought that we were complete and utter dickheads. However…..given that we already had numb bums with hours to go…and were extremely bored….I figured that if you can’t beat ‘em….join ‘em. Even if it is only on Facebook. I took out my phone and saw that it had 39% battery which was sufficient to waste a little bit of time on Facebook. The Bear got out his laptop. I checked in at the Airport….and commented that we were on our way home. The comments that followed were as follows: (And had me laughing harder than I did in the Hertz bus. Also…it makes absolutely no sense at all given that the Bears phone was suffering lag and was several minutes behind my phone)


Brian C: Never been so pleasantly conflicted in all my life... I want to stay here, we've had such a fantastic time in a wonderful country full of wonderful people. But on the other hand, we are both weary, we've had enough of living out of a suitcase, and we have a fantastic home and family to return to... What to do???
29 November 2012 at 13:20 • Like


Donna C: Third option - run home as quick as possible to the dogs and cater to their every whim! I'll do that regardless but am just putting it out there for you too, being the awesome wife that I am
29 November 2012 at 13:26 via mobile • Like • 1



Brian C : Sorry, I've given the dogs to an animal research laboratory. Schultz is testing new ADHD drugs to slow him down and Ella is providing a new power source on a treadmill... :-)
29 November 2012 at 13:32 • Edited • Like



Donna C: That's the best you could think up?
29 November 2012 at 13:35 via mobile • Like



Brian C: Yes. :-)
29 November 2012 at 13:36 • Like



Alyx S: I don’t think Schultz could get any slower lol
29 November 2012 at 13:38 • Like



Donna C: *sigh* I guess there is only room for one hysterically funny person here. I'll write your lines for you. See below.



"Yes of course that's what I'll do! I've already booked the three of you in for a massage and hair wash and blow dry but if I need to also bring in Australia's top chef to cook you all a 5 course meal, I will. Then once I have stopped farting purple piglets and take the rollers out of my armpits, I'll be making sure the only people eating Duck L'Orange is me and the cats!"
29 November 2012 at 13:48 via mobile • Like • 1



Jenny L: Travel safe!!
29 November 2012 at 13:54 via mobile • Unlike • 1



Donna C: Thankyou! (Can you tell we are bored? LOL!)
29 November 2012 at 13:55 via mobile • Like



Brian C: Quaaaaack....
29 November 2012 at 13:55 • Like



Donna C: I rest my case!
29 November 2012 at 13:56 via mobile • Like



Donna C: PS: got any grapes?
29 November 2012 at 13:56 via mobile • Like



Brian C: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q



The Duck Song
www.youtube.com
29 November 2012 at 13:57 • Like • Remove Preview



Jonathon O: Confirm you two are standing next to each other yet communicating via Facebook? Hmmmmm.... Anyway hope you have less stress than us getting home! Cheers
29 November 2012 at 13:59 via mobile • Like • 1



Alyx S: LOL!! You both need serious help!
29 November 2012 at 14:06 via mobile • Unlike • 1



Gloria S: Too late Donna ....as I told B he's already been infected by the 'crazy gene' and there's no turning back. He's ours, aaaaaaaallll ours. (how does one express an evil cackle on FB?)
29 November 2012 at 14:08 • Like



Brian C: Well, we are sitting next to one another and being silly on Facebook... My gorgeous wife is giggling constantly (Alyx will know what that’s all about...) and her whole body is shaking... :-) Yup, we are on and in the comfy seats, Chuck. We purposefully chose a quiet time of year to avoid the stress... :-)
29 November 2012 at 14:09 • Like



Jenny L : You know how after a few too many clicks in YouTube...and then you end up in the really weird place and wonder what has happened to humanity?? I feel like I kinda wandered there after actually reading your conversation... :-/
29 November 2012 at 14:12 • Unlike • 2



Donna C: Ahhh yes Ma - that's the crazy gene.... not the funny gene! As for the evil cackle... that would be "mwwwahhahaha"!
29 November 2012 at 14:17 via mobile • Like



Donna C: LMAO Jen!!!
29 November 2012 at 14:17 via mobile • Like



Donna C Eames!!
29 November 2012 at 14:18 via mobile • Like



Alyx S: Lots of help!
29 November 2012 at 14:20 via mobile • Like



Alyx S : Also is there any foods you would like in the car upon your return??
29 November 2012 at 14:20 via mobile • Like



Gloria S: In our family, you have to be a little crazy to understand what the rest of us are talking about, especially when one is being funny. You may be the master but B is most certainly well advanced in his apprenticeship. PS: Except when he reposts that darned Duck Song!!!!
29 November 2012 at 14:21 • Like



Brian C: Spend a few minutes in our house Jenny, and the twilight zone would appear surprisingly normal.... :-)
29 November 2012 at 14:21 via mobile • Like



Donna C: Naaahhhhh Eames - you know I would hate to have my brains unscrambled! A world that made sense would make no sense at all!
29 November 2012 at 14:21 via mobile • Like



Alyx S: A little crazy?
29 November 2012 at 14:22 via mobile • Like



Alyx S: More like bordering on psychosis
29 November 2012 at 14:22 via mobile • Like



Donna C: Yep I know Ma. I regretted it the moment I said it! That being said - I also knew that by saying it, he would no doubt post the link and subsequently have everyone else going to the looney bin with me. A method in my madness! I would be lonely there all by myself seeing all those "quacks".
29 November 2012 at 14:25 via mobile • Like



Donna C: Mental Eames. Mad as a Hatter. Madder than a cut snake. *thinks* Or was that funnier than a cut snake? Funnier than a mad snake? Sadder than a funny snake?
29 November 2012 at 14:27 via mobile • Like



Brian C: Why is everyone picking on the duck song? "Waddle, waddle, waddle..."
29 November 2012 at 14:28 via mobile • Like



Brian C: Anyhoo. Boring. I'm going to visit the little boys room.
29 November 2012 at 14:29 via mobile • Like



Gloria S: lalalalalalalala....with fingers in ears (or maybe that should be with eyes shut).
29 November 2012 at 14:29 • Like



Donna C: *raises one eyebrow*
29 November 2012 at 14:29 via mobile • Like



Alyx S: There is nothing funny about a snake Don.
29 November 2012 at 14:31 via mobile • Like



Donna C: This is true Eames. Maybe it's madder than a dead snake.
29 November 2012 at 14:32 via mobile • Like • 1



Donna C: Nothing quite like sitting in the single most BORING airport in the world (and trust me it is) listening to damned Christmas Carols! I am strongly considering launching myself off the jet way (except I don't know what a jet way is)
29 November 2012 at 14:35 via mobile • Like



Donna C: Foods Eames? Nah ya - I plan on eating the whole way home. Unless that was a typo and was meant to be fools. In that case, sure why not
29 November 2012 at 14:38 via mobile • Like



Donna C: That was meant to be - nah ta. Damned spell check on this rotten phone....
29 November 2012 at 14:40 via mobile • Like



Alyx S: Well would you like some food in there waiting for you?

Not sure what i can do about fools.. Im sure i could find one at least
29 November 2012 at 14:40 • Like



Donna C: No food thanks Eames :-)
29 November 2012 at 14:41 via mobile • Like



Alyx S: Okey Doke
29 November 2012 at 14:41 • Like



Donna C: Oh goody - Christmas carols by Willie Nelson :-S
29 November 2012 at 14:42 via mobile • Like



Donna C: Whatcha up to Eamsikens? Or should this bored Mummeh not be asking?
29 November 2012 at 14:43 via mobile • Like



Alyx S: I’m doing absolutely nothing.. Just about to finish the first season of Criminal Intent (im re-watching it all) lol
29 November 2012 at 14:44 • Like



Gloria S: Gotta love Willie. He probably thinks it's always Christmas as he rarely sems to be feeling any pain or realise what time of year it is.
29 November 2012 at 14:44 • Like



Brian C : Willie Nelson just launched into the most mournful version of Please Come Home For Christmas. I'm considering following Sari Bear off the jetway...
29 November 2012 at 14:44 via mobile • Like • 1



Brian C: Shiiiit. I'm miles behind. Damn phone.
29 November 2012 at 14:45 via mobile • Like • 1



Donna C: Ma - Gotta love Willie??? Really is this the right forum to be sharing that in??
29 November 2012 at 14:47 via mobile • Like • 1



Donna C: I crack myself up!!
29 November 2012 at 14:49 via mobile • Like • 1



Gloria S: My you ARE bored, aren't you? I had been going to say 'leave Willie alone' but given B's previous status, thought I'd better change it. You've got to admit that only Willie (Nelson) can sing Christmas Carols so mournfully.
29 November 2012 at 14:50 • Like



Brian C : Whose?
29 November 2012 at 14:51 via mobile • Like



Donna C: *falls off chair laughing*
29 November 2012 at 14:51 via mobile • Like



Gloria S: Whose what?
29 November 2012 at 14:51 • Like



Donna C: Whose what?
29 November 2012 at 14:52 via mobile • Like



Brian C: What's on second.
29 November 2012 at 14:52 via mobile • Like



Gloria S: No, what's on first.
29 November 2012 at 14:52 • Like



Brian C: This airport has people that clearly mistook it for Walmart.
29 November 2012 at 14:55 via mobile • Like



Donna C: Don't you be baggin' Wal-Mart! That's my new second favourite place to shop!
29 November 2012 at 14:56 via mobile • Like



Gloria S: LOL.......I really should get back to doing something constructive as, given Donna's blog post after first your Walmart foray, my visuals are now going into over-drive!!
29 November 2012 at 14:56 • Like



Brian C : What? This isn't constructive?
29 November 2012 at 14:57 via mobile • Like



Donna C: I am behind in my blogs. I'll have to post them when I get home.
29 November 2012 at 14:58 via mobile • Like



Donna C: You should be worried about my visuals Ma! What with you and your love of willies and all.....
29 November 2012 at 14:59 via mobile • Like



Gloria S: Be kind to your poor old MIL.......I could injure myself badly should my office chair shoot out from under me as I laugh.
29 November 2012 at 14:59 • Like



Gloria S: At my age, Willy Nelson is about as good as it gets. Must be those long, grey braids.
29 November 2012 at 15:01 • Like



Gloria S: AC....if you're reading all of this, I blame it on the heat across this side of town.
29 November 2012 at 15:02 • Like



Brian C: Eames? Where are you? Your poor old mom thinks you're ignoring her...
29 November 2012 at 15:02 via mobile • Like



Brian C: Damn phone is still a good half hour late...
29 November 2012 at 15:03 via mobile • Like



Donna C: Who you callin' old Bou?!
29 November 2012 at 15:03 via mobile • Like



Donna C: Bou? Freakin' spellcheck again. *Boy
29 November 2012 at 15:04 via mobile • Like



Brian C: Cougar!!!
29 November 2012 at 15:06 via mobile • Like



Gloria S: When do you two actually board?
29 November 2012 at 15:09 • Like



Donna C: 2 hours Ma :-S We have been here for 4. My phone will run flat way before that.
29 November 2012 at 15:19 via mobile • Like



Gloria S: Have a safe trip. I think, at this stage, that you are coming home to a heatwave.
29 November 2012 at 15:24 • Like



Gloria S: T'wba 31 today, 32 tomorrow and 33 Saturday.
29 November 2012 at 15:27 • Like



Donna C: Yep! And am looking forward to it! I might actually get in the pool :-) Am turning the phone off now. We don't board for an hour but need to preserve what battery I have left so that I can SMS Alyx once we land (she is picking us up). I'll call you when I get home xxxx
29 November 2012 at 16:12 via mobile • Like



Debbie S: What, you are turning your phone off - now who is going to amuse me?
29 November 2012 at 16:26 • Like



Gloria S: For some reason this whole conversation has disappeared from my FB page. Talk to you when you both recover. xxxxxxx



Needless to say, this filled up some time as the airport filled up itself. We boarded on time and as we taxied out to the run way, the rain became heavier and actually started teeming down. The Bear had taken his seat and passed out straight away, so I watched the lights outside through the tear filled sky and said own my silent goodbyes to the United States of America. I was beyond excitement to be heading home but I promised that I would return back to these shores as soon as possible. After all there was WAY too much country that I had yet to see!

Day 29 - Cop a load of this! (Pardon the pun)

It is our last full day in Los Angeles. I am absolutely stoked to be going home tomorrow night but I am sad at the same time. This has been the most amazing journey and I have loved every minute of it. I have seen the most amazing things and have visited places that I have only ever dreamed about. I have been so blessed to have been given this opportunity and know that I am so lucky to have done this with the Bear.

We decided to head back to Warner Bros. The tour that we were taken on last time was absolutely amazing and we felt that we enjoyed it so much that we didn’t mind paying to go again. As it turned out, there are no hard and fast routes that the tour guides need to follow as it really depends on what might be filming on any given day and who might be on the lot. Today’s tour was completely different to the one that we did during our first week in L.A. It was obviously on the same lot however we were able to see parts of it that were closed during our first visit and this meant we saw sets from completely different shows. In fact, we even got within a cooee of the sets of “Hart of Dixie” and “The Mentalist” which were filming today, and actually could see the actors on the sets. It is eye opening really. If you have ever watched a street scene on a TV show or movie, how carefully do you watch what is happening? Did you actually know that the cars that pass in the background are the same ones driving around the block and back and forth? And…when you are watching “extras” in the background of a scene, walking up the street, you might be surprised to see that they too walk up and down more than once. We hoped that we could visit the set of “Two and a Half Men” again however Ashton Kutcher was on the lot and in his trailer outside the studio. Instead we were taken onto the set of “Big Bang Theory”. I was again amazed at the size of the sets – they are almost impossibly small and I found myself wondering how the actors didn’t stand on each others toes!

We spent the afternoon trying to find a moto cross store for Nic and visiting a large pet store so that I could buy my babies something to take home. At the back of the pet store we spotted a large “pet motel” which looked amazingly exclusive. Beside the pet motel was a “doggy day care” and upon further investigation I found that the dogs in the day care were currently playing in a large room with a full length window. I think the Bear would have had more success getting me to eat a banana than trying to drag me away before I had a quick look. He was off wandering the store, so I sidled up to the window to take a peek. I was immediately envious of the two young ladies that stood in there watching over the dogs as they played. What an absolutely fabulous job they had. The room was brightly lit, clean and very, very welcoming for the dogs. It could be easily cleaned if one had a little accident. I fell in love with a Chow that was in there. She was absolutely beautiful and her eyes radiated such intelligence. There was a Foxie who looked like a nuisance; a French Bulldog which was a bit of a wuss, a Welsh Corgi, a Poodle cross, a number of other bitsa’s….and….a short haired, shaded red Miniature Dachshund. He lay at the top of a miniature play gym type thing, just where you would slide down the slippery slide. He had his head down EXACTLY like my Schultz would. I wanted to call out to him, and managed to smack my head against the glass window as I tried to get his attention. Ironically that worked. *insert bruised frown here* He came down off the play gym and made his way across the floor to where the other dogs were playing…..staring me straight in the eye and barking as he crossed. My eyes had no choice but to well over and I crouched down to try to get him to come back over to me. An old lady had been watching me and came over to see if I was ok. I explained to her that I had two Miniature Dachshunds and I missed them very much. Unfortunately this apparently gave her an invitation to tell me her life story (she was a Jew that moved from Israel, to the U.K, to Florida, and then to L.A….just in case you wondered) and she hogged what precious little time I had there. The Bear kindly came and saved me thank goodness!

We wondered where to have a meal on the last night in L.A and eventually decided on “The Cheesecake Factory” at Marina Del Rey. It was only 5 minutes drive from where we were staying and we had been told it was an awesome feed. Strangely I thought “The Cheesecake Factory” might actually be a factory that made cheesecakes *rolls eyes* but apparently that was not the case.

As we left our hotel we found ourselves in peak hour traffic, at night, with drizzling rain. We didn’t bother dressing up as the Cheesecake Factory appeared to have a casual dress code which was mighty fine by us. The Bear knew which direction we needed to drive in, however it was slower than it should have been due to the treacherous conditions. We needed to make a left hand turn at a set of lights, and did so as the light turned orange. There was a car on the outside of us (to our right) who also took the corner at the same time as us. Once we made it around the corner….we heard a “bbrrr bllloooop” (ok…so I can’t spell what it sounded like) which both of us recognised as a police siren. Given that the red and blue flashing light was immediately in our rear vision mirror, we felt that we could safely assume that it was meant for us. The person in the right hand lane took off, and the Bear pulled over to the right hand side of the road (remember this is the USA) to park. He had driven going on 5000 kilometres (the equivalent of more than Los Angeles to New York) and here he was being pulled over on our last night in Los Angeles. I clapped excitedly however as I had been hoping daily that we would end up on an episode of cops.

Cop: Licence, registration and insurance Sir.

Bear: I can give you my licence but I have no idea about registration and insurance. This is a rental car.

Cop: *silence*

Bear: Maybe it’s in the glove box?

(We open the glove box and there is a plastic bag in there containing some papers. The Bear hands the plastic bag to the policeman)

Cop: You will have to remove the contents from the bag Sir.

(The Bear removed the contents of the bag and handed them to the policeman)

(I am craning my neck to see what sort of cop he was)

Cop: You took that turn a bit late Sir.

Brian: (Thinking it was due to turning on the orange light) Yeah.

Cop: I’ll be right back. (The cop takes the papers and the drivers licence back to his motorbike and we stay in the car).

**A few minutes pass**

Cop: Sir I am going to be issuing you with an infringement…..

Me: Say what?

Cop: …..for going through a stop signal.

Me: May I please ask a question?

Cop: Sure.

Me: (Ok…so this really isn’t a question) My husband drove around on an orange light and….

Cop: We don’t have orange lights here. We have yellow.

Me: *dumbstruck* Ok…yellow, orange, amber, pink, whatever. He drove around on a yellow light – so are you saying that this is….

Cop: It was red. I was right behind you.

Me: Ok…so if that was the case, wouldn’t you also be wanting to stop the other car that went around in the right hand lane?

Cop: I didn’t see a car in the right hand lane.

Me: So if you didn’t see the very obvious car in the right hand lane…I put it to you, how is it that you actually saw the light was orange? Whoops…excuse me….yellow?

Cop: I can only pick up one person at a time.

Me: So you picked the easy target? Tourists?

Cop: Now how am I meant to know that you are a tourist??? (Ok..so he had a point there)

Me: My question was in relation to the yellow (got it right this time) light. Is that meant to be an offence?

Bear: It was definitely yellow.

Cop: Sir you were well over the marked line.

Me: The light was yellow!!

Cop: Ma’am. He is the violator and I will have my conversation with him. You have nothing to do with this.

Me: *insert picture of a stick of ACME dynamite about to explode*

Me: How can you say I have nothing to do with this? I am in the damned car and this “violator” is my husband!

Cop: Sir can you please ask your wife to remain quiet.

Bear: *blink*

Me: *bang*

Cop: You will need to sign this infringement and pay the bail before the set court date.

Me: Bail??? Whoops…I spoke. My bad.

Bear: I can’t see that to sign it.

Cop: You will need to sign it Sir.

Bear: But I can’t read it to sign it. I will not sign anything I cannot read.

Cop: You have the choice of signing this, or, you will be taken to jail.

Me: Woot! Can we be on an episode of cops! Whoops…pardon me.

Bear: You are joking right?

Cop: No Sir.

Bear: How am I expected to put my name to something I can’t read?

Cop: If you are required to have glasses Sir, I need to confiscate your keys because you clearly shouldn’t be driving.

Bear: I need glasses for READING. Not for driving. I can probably see better than you…..

Me: Bahahahaha!

Bear: ……and I don’t have my reading glasses here!

Me: Honey I would offer to read this to you……but…that’s right…..I have nothing to do with this!

Bear: I did NOT go through a red light!

Cop: I was right behind you Sir. I had to put on my lights so that I didn’t get hit myself.

Me: *puzzled look*

Bear: If you were right behind me, how is it that you saw how far I apparently was over the line when you couldn’t see the car that was immediately beside me! I am in a 4WD which would have blocked the view!

Me: Hey...am I allowed to.....whoops! Sorry! I forgot! *turns to the Bear* Can you please ask the policeman if I am allowed to tape him?

Bear: *Slowly turns his head and looks at me*

Bear: *blank look*

Bear: *blinks*

Bear: *Are you serious look?*

Bear: *turns slowly back to the policeman and sighs* Can my wife tape you?

Cop: Yes as long as she doesn’t point a blinding light at my face.

Me: *Whips out mobile phone and starts taping*

Cop: There is nothing really important on the infringement notice. You wouldn’t be signing to accept guilt.

Bear: That's not the point!

Cop: You could get out of the car and have your wife read it to you?

Me: Ahh but I have nothing to do with this remember!

Bear: And what happens after it's signed?

Cop: You pay the bail and appear in court.

Me: Appear in court? We are going home tomorrow!

Cop: Everything can be dealt with on line.

Bear: I will most certainly be disputing this.

Cop: Online Sir. You will need to pay the bail first though.

Bear: And how much is that?

Cop: You will be able to find out online.

Bear: You want me to sign something I can’t read, pay an amount you can’t advise, and attend a court hearing…..

Me: Despite us telling you we are going home!

Cop: I have already told you….look it up online! You will need to sign the notice!

Me: In Australia, we don’t sign ANYTHING until we know WHAT we are signing!

Bear: *signs infringement*

Cop: *turns on his foot and skulks back to his bike…..and puts a pair of spectacles on!!*

Bear: He damned well can’t see! Who knows if he even had those glasses on before!

Me: Tosser.

Needless to say, we eventually got to The Cheesecake Factory and made the best out of a bad night!